RSVP aka Let Me Know Either Way

Have you read the news articles about people billing guests who no show? Yes, you read me right. If you said you were going to attend an event then don’t show up you might receive a bill in the mail for your portion. When I first read about this I was slightly appalled but I understand.

A few months ago, while working for a caterer, I was asmugness a weekday wedding. They were expecting 75 guests. Thirty minutes after the start time only 30 people had shown up. They decided not to wait any longer. I looked into the bride’s eyes and could see her disappointment and sadness. But the show or wedding in this case, must go on. The staff watched from the window. It was really heartbreaking. There were so many empty seats during the ceremony. Most of the attendees were in the wedding.

It seems like no big deal in the surface. They still got married. They were served a wonderful plated meal. The DJ was playing great dancing music. It was  memorable evening minus about 45 guests. That was 45 people who said yes to the invitation. That was 45 people who were to receive a slice of cake that costs upwards of $5.00 per slice. That’s 45 people who would have received a party favor. That’s 45 people who would have received the appetizers and plated meal served by the hourly paid staff. That is 45 people who did not update their RSVP the week of the wedding so the couple could update the caterer who would have bought, prepared and transported less foods as well as scheduled less staff.

Recently, my daughter and I planned her first cookie/ ornament exchange. Out of 15 invitations I received two regrets but no RSVPs to me. A few of the girls said they would attend but their parents, their rides, the purchasers of the ornaments or cookie dough ingredients never responded. I cancelled the event. My daughter was extremely disappointed. She said to me, “RSVPing is old school. Nobody does that any more.” Well baby girl if they plan to come to an event at my house then I need to hear from the adult. How do I know how much food to prepare? How do I know how many crafts to purchase? How do I plan for an unspecified number of people?

Why have we become so lackadaisical? In this age of technology it takes less than a couple of minutes to send a text, FB message, tweet, snap chat or old school e-mail to say yes or no. Notice I didn’t say phone call because that really is old school. I understand we are all busy and have things to do that are important and high priority. But so is an RSVP. You don’t need to provide an explanation. But an answer or a status update is requested.

Would I ever send a bill to the inconsiderate no shows? (Yes, I know emergencies occurs.) I’m not sure that I would. Is it petty to charge no shows? I don’t know.

For the people who don’t RSVP and show up anyway, why do you think that’s okay?