Friendship

It’s been approximately 7367 days since I last saw you

But who’s counting?

Where have you been?

Have you lived a full life?

How are you, my friend?

Have you laughed or cried?

I’ve missed looking into your eyes

Do you still have the same smile?

Are you missing teeth?

Is your hair gray?

What prompted you to leave anyway?

The only thing that matters is you’re back

Sit down, take a load off and stay a while

We have a lifetime of life to catch up on

My motive? I have none

Catching up with a friend

Laughing at, “remember when…”

Is it true that authentic friendships never fade?

Not even after 7367 days

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The hijacking of Christmas

“Christmas” is finally over and I have to say I’m glad. This year I was less tolerant of the nonsense that has wrapped itself around the neck of this Christian holy day and is squeezing the life, meaning, worship and love for mankind out of what is truly a day that we should celebrate in remembrance of him.

What does Saint Nicholas/ Santa, the north pole, reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, magic, decorating trees, excessive spending, trampling people to get a gift item on an extensive wish list and don’t let me forget the elves especially the creepy on that sits on the shelf and does naughty or adventurous things when everyone is asleep have to do with the birth of my savior? What does any of that have to do with sacrificial love? A love that was given life to live and die for the lost and offer life through salvation. The birth of a king that had been predicted years and years before. The magi that had traveled from far away to bring gifts and worship this king. The shepherds that left their flock of sheep unattended to come and see about this baby, this savior, this king. The jealousy of a ruler who had all baby boys thrown into the river to keep this king from reaching his destiny. Only he didn’t know that God knew his heart and plans before they were fully formed and executed and sent love to a different land where it would be safe the flourish and thrive without the threat of life taking danger. How does any of that nonsense represent a day that should be filled with worship and remembrance? Does it mean the day should be solemn and joyless. Of course not! But the day should be filled with him. In the Old Testament God would have the Israelites set up stones or have annual celebrations to help them to remember. We seem to have forgotten.

I find it interesting how many non believers celebrate Christmas. That should have been our first clue. How many non believer celebrate Ramadan or Hanukkah? Have you ever asked yourself why not? Why don’t they have elves leaving out pork rinds in the mornings? Where is the magic of their season? My guess is they take their holy days seriously and wouldn’t allow the nonsense to take over those days. They wouldn’t sell out to commercialism, big business, greed and excess.

How did we get here? How long will we remain?

The Little Dude told me we should an elf. I asked why and he said so it can watch us and make sure we are good. I responded, God sees you all day every day no matter where you are. He protects you instead of spying on you. Besides, you are already a good boy, aren’t you? Stud Muffin asked me why this was the most wonderful time of year. I responded, because Jesus was born to set the world free and to be the gift of love. Only I don’t think we are allowing him to set us free anymore or be our gift.

As you ponder these things, it’s not too early to begin asking yourself what a bunny, eggs, and candy have to do with the death and resurrection of love.

Sigh, if we as Christians don’t take ourselves seriously why should anyone else?

Like a Man Does it

On any given day I hear Stud Muffin (7) or Little Dude (8) say, “let me show you how a man does it!” They are usually saying this to each other since Honeygirl and I aren’t all that interested in how a man does something and the Teenager is usually somewhere being a teen. I do watch them when this is occurring because it’s funny and I’ve learned that a man will do lots of manly things if someone is watching and gives him praise.

The Teenager is the person in charge of bug and critter disposal. The younger boys scream like a girl if they see a gecko or even a beetle. Now mind you even the girl doesn’t scream like a girl when she sees a bug but that’s neither here nor there. One morning Stud and Dude were in the kitchen, the other two were still asleep, when I heard a scream. I ran to the kitchen to see Stud pointing at a bug. Little Dude said, “let me show you how a man does it.” He grabbed a paper towel, picked up the bug and put it in the trash. After which his chest was stuck out, his head was held high and he looked at his brother and said, “that’s how a man does it!” I smiled and walked back to my room. I hear that phrase at various time during the day. I always smile at them when they show how a man does something.

Yesterday, Stud Muffin was sitting at the table drinking a cup of hot apple cider. He said, “mom, look at me I’m being a maaaan.” I turned my head to look at him and asked if he wanted to show me his cider mustache, he replied no. I asked him if he had just done something. He replied, no, I’m just sitting here being a man. I nodded and smiled at him.

I don’t pretend to know what it takes to be a man but I have learned what it takes to encourage and speak life into a man. Sometimes it doesn’t require any action on my part. I  am honored to have the privilege to watch them transform from boys to men.

Unfailing Love

I walked back in time this week at work. I’m training for a new position and the person I’m replacing has worked there for 29 years. She’s as sweet as pie and has more knowledge about this job than she can pass on to me in two weeks. When I walked into her office, I had a quick trip down memory lane. She still has a word processor. For those of you who don’t remember, they replaced typewriters. If you don’t know what a typewriter is google it or better yet spend some time talking to your grandparents about life when they were kids. You might find the time before modern technology fascinating. Where was I? She has files that date back 30 years that are kept in big, blue, three ring binders. She copies certain documents and files them, numerically, in these binders and keeps a copy on her computer’s desktop. She keeps the copy in the binder because she doesn’t trust the computer. What if something happens to the computer system and all the data is lost? I smiled and nodded my head telling her I completely understand. It’s hard to trust computers. They lock up and shut down at the most inconvenient time. When you want answers they don’t always provide reliable information. They fail us. Over time, we’ve learned not to trust them which is why we backup information on a disc or in the cloud or print paper. We want security. We want to know that all of our hard work is there and easily accessible. We want something that will not fail us.

In a recent e-mail someone made a statement to me about God’s unfailing love. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the word unfailing. Unfailing…I know what it means  to me but I wanted to see what MERRIAM-WEBSTER thought of it and here are three words used to define unfailing-constant, everlasting and inexhaustible. WOW!

We know that computers are fallible, cars break down, houses become worn, people disappoint us but God and his love towards us is constant, everlasting and inexhaustible.

Unfailing love indeed.

The Book of your Life

When your story began you had a blank page

as the clock tick tocked the page was filled

with each day that passed another word or phrase was added

more pages

more pictures 

more words

the book of your life was being written 

with every word that was spoken

with every laughter and tear

more pages were added

no wasted space

your book was full

page after page

loyalty and concern

helping and negotiating

strong and tender

facing your fears

you fought and won

you won peace and freedom

even though you are gone

the book of your life remains

the book that was written with each passing day

filled by your life experiences

as your book came to an end

I’ll write on the last page

she was a friend

 

How to kill a man without serving time

The process starts when he is newly born. Begin early when he depends on you, looks up to you and believes everything you say. Commence the plotting when he is naïve and trusting. You don’t need to rush. Take your time. The plan is not for you to complete the job yourself but to pass the task off when he gets a girlfriend or gets married. It’s her job to finish the deed.
It’s simple, easy, anybody can do this.
Tell him he can’t or better yet, tell he doesn’t have to.
Cater to him to the point where he is lazy and unmotivated.
Tell him he’s not smart enough, fast enough, skilled enough but tell him he’s cute enough.
Show him he’s unworthy.
Support him financially even when he’s an adult.
Encourage him to disrespect authority.
Tell him you don’t need him; after all you can do it by yourself.
Disrespect him with your words, looks, attitude and actions; every now and then do it in front of friends and family.
Keep bringing up his past mistakes.
Don’t let him provide or if he insists, tell him he’s not a good provider.
Make him earn your respect.
Show him you don’t trust him.
Treat him with contempt.
Don’t challenge him to be better or set expectations.
Requirements? Don’t have any.
Treat him like he’s one of your girlfriends or sister instead of your son or man.
Make sure you don’t take interest in anything he does unless it gives you recognition, money or makes you feel good.
Don’t teach him about finances you will take care of him until he gets a wife then she will take care of him with or without his money.
Encourage irresponsibility.
Turn your head when he does something wrong.
Tell him you love him then remind him he will never amount to anything.
Be overbearing.
Tell him what to do every step of the way.
Remind him that he is just like his father, uncle, grandfather or any other man that has been successfully eliminated
Most of all, keep him away from men who are still living. They might try to revive him.
He doesn’t need to know the love of the Father.
Don’t take him to church or take him to a church that will feminize him.
The goal is to kill his spirit.
When you kill his spirit, you kill him.
Premeditated murder…no time served.

Why God Hates Divorce

I’ve been divorced for almost four years. This week, I finally understood some reasons why God hates divorce.

It’s the cries of the children that break his heart
It’s the responsibility they feel for the breakup
It’s the blame
It’s the shame
It’s why my family
It’s brokenness
Bitterness
It’s acting as a peacekeeper
Responsibility, more than they can bear
Allegiance
Alliance
Stuck in the middle
I miss my mom
I miss my dad
I want them back together
Holidays apart
A new family
A new start
It’s the sorrow of the children that hurt his heart
A life they didn’t plan
A step-mother or father
A step- brother or sister
New rules
New traditions
I miss my old life
Resentment
Disrespect
Which parent to protect?
Love is scary
Trust is gone
Relationships don’t work
Fear takes on a life of it’s own
Forgotten
Pushed aside
A brand new life
A new bed
A different room
Brand new house
A new school
No old friends
The Church is new too?
Nothing is familiar
Why just tell me why?
It’s the disappointment of the children that brings sadness to God
God hates divorce and I now understand why