I fell in love yesterday 

I fell in love yesterday 

I have to admit

It wasn’t live at first sight

We had seen each other many times before

I always dreaded the visits

For whatever reason I always agreed to one more

I’d often leave weary, discouraged or sad

Yesterday was different I left happy and excited

My heart was won over after years upon years

But I have another 

The idea of breaking it off brings me to tears 

I’ve got to let go

I need to walk away

Yesterday was full of revelation

My heart was conflicted 

My old love’s lies and deceit were revealed

We have history 

I thought we had commitment 

We see each other weekly

We’ve know each other for years

But the last six months have been more intense

I didn’t think we would ever part

In my heart I hoped that this was the one

But my new love is my new love

Now I must move on

Once the trust is nonexistent

There is nothing left to share

I’ve made my choice

I’m choosing the electronic scale at my doctor’s office 

The gym scale is full of lies

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The Unprotected

There is a portion of the population that feels unprotected

There are people out there who have decided to molest them

Molest use be defined as to bother, pester or harass 

Molest is now known as an assault or abuse of the sexual kind

The presumed statistics of occurrence are high

The chances of being traumatized are higher

Nightmares, fear, loneliness or worse

Not feeling worthy or capable of giving or receiving love

The victim feels victimized most often to young to process it

The perpetrator? Most likely a close friend or family member

What gives them the right?

We don’t make it wrong 

It becomes the family secret

Don’t tell, don’t think, become numb to it all

Guilt and shame with nobody to blame

Close your eyes squeeze them tight

Focus on today not those horrible days or nights

No justice, no peace

Many nights with no sleep

No trial no time served

Nobody gets what they deserve

The perp walks away

The victim has to stay 

Don’t cause a scene at the family functions

Yes, you have to attend

Aren’t you already on the mend?

Smile, be polite everything is alright

It happened once or twice 

You can still be nice

To many times to count?

Your mind won’t let you see the true amount?

It’s okay

You’ll be fine

 Just give it some time

Let’s never speak of this again

Even if it was a family friend 

Your brother

My father

The uncle on your dad’s side

The aunt we all love

The coach 

The teacher

The priest

The big sister

No matter the title

The feeling is the same

Unworthy, not cared for or scared

Not shielded or acknowledged 

Unprotected

Unprotected

Her

I’ve known her for a long time

No matter how much I try 

I don’t like her

When I see her walk in a room

I cringe; I frown

“Did you really wear that today?”

“Look at your hair.”

Everybody seems to like her

She smiles with her eyes

She lives a carefree life

I’m jealous

Her life reminds me of my pain

Her dreams are ones I never dared dream

Her friendships are deeper

The way she loves is meaningful

I’m worthless

I never had the opportunities

I was afraid to believe

I picked my path

When I see her I don’t see me

I wanted to be a wife

I would like to live her life

I’m hurting

I refuse to hug her

Not one word of praise

If I loved her she might think she’s better than me

I’m withdrawn

Everything I’m not is in her

Places I would like to go she’s been

I will not acknowledge her accomplishments 

I will point out her flaws

If I can make her doubt 

I’ll feel better

“Your children are high maintenance”

“How dare you breastfeed your child in my presence?”

I will neglect her

I will not protect her

I’m helpless

I didn’t have a protector

Nobody loved me

I refuse to love her

I’m lost

“You act like your father and he was nothing.”

When I see her

When I hear her

When I think of her

I’m left wanting

She calls me a name 

The one that cuts me deep

It’s a constant reminder

I glare at her as she begins to speak

“Mom…”