Lauren was no more than about eight when she learned about this practice. Her best friend told her it would work and if she said so then it was true. She closed her eyes and giggled. She could see his face and laughed at the thought of him running from her as she chased him all over the play ground. As she sat in the middle of the field she picked a flower with lots of petals and began the ritual. As Lauren plucked a petal from the flower she said out loud, “He loves me”, then she pulled another and said “He loves me not”. She continued this pattern of plucking flower petals and reciting the words until she reached the last one, “He loves me not!” She picked up another flower and started again. He just had to love her.
Twenty years later she was sitting in a coffee shop thinking about her fiance Mark. She absent mindedly picked up a flower from the vase in the middle of the table and started plucking the petals and reciting the words. She knew it was a silly game but she continued until the last petal lay on the table, “He loves me not?”
She thought about the six years they had been dating. He was not perfect but then who is? They met her senior year in college. She has just ended a six year relationship year with her high school sweetheart. She was going through a tough time. Jeff had been her world since the end of their sophomore year. She would find herself sitting on a park bench crying. It wasn’t just any bench, it was their bench. At least they claimed it as theirs. It’s where they sat and talked for hours. It served as their dining room table. This bench was where they discussed their futures. It was also the place of their breakup.
As tears slid down her face she had an overwhelming sense of being watched. She raised her head and looked into his eyes. Those eyes were beauitiful, intense, questioning and sympathetic. She tried to smile but according to his version of the story it was more of a painful grimace. He did not say anything that day but he came back a few nights later and gave her a lace handkerchief. He later revealed to her why he brought her the lace handkerchief instead of tissue. He told his mother about her and she said a brokenhearted woman needs permanence in her life, not temporary.
I don’t know why I selected that as my title. Perhaps I subconsciously wanted everybody to know how old I am. It popped into my head so I typed it out. Which takes me to the assignment of the day, working on my brand and my site. I looked at my heading and tagline and quite honestly, they still fit me perfectly. I contemplated for weeks and polled friends and coworkers on what I should title my blog. Thanks to Lacey, I landed on All That Chatter. My tag line is so me. I am always thinking. Vicki, a friend of mine, gave me some sage advice a couple of days ago, “don’t over think it…” Pppssshhh! I always over think everything. I am extremely analytical but not to the point of can’t get it done. I always get it done. But I am thinking about the steps along the way. Another friend told me I always have an A, B and C plan. I do like to plan. I really do. (lays down on sofa) It all started when I was a little girl. Oh wait! This is not about that. Brand! This is about my brand. My blog is a hodge podge of ideas written in various forms. I looked at the theme of my blog and I love the way it looks on the computer. I am not changing it at all. I took some time last year to update my blog and change the theme, colors, fonts, etc. I still like it very much. What am I changing? Nothing. I blog from my cell phone in the mornings for the most part but tonight I am blogging from my laptop. I took a nice long nap, the kids are gone to their dad’s until Sunday and I have no obligations tonight other than a need to sweep, finish my laundry and wash a few dishes. Oh and prepare for tomorrow before I go to bed. Digressing, digressing, digressing where was I? The theme… my brand… the look of my blog… I think I covered it all. I reserve the right to edit my thoughts.
Edits to my thoughts- I rarely use pictures by design. I like to see them on other blogs and they make them light and airy but I prefer people to create pictures and images in their minds. Call it my contribution to the creativeness of society.
I live for goals. I like to manage expectations and know when something is achieved and if it’s not, explore the whys. Funny, I like goals but I have yet to adopt list making as an everyday task. What’s the difference in making a task list as opposed to setting goals? In my mind one is tedious and the other is not necessarily hovering over me on a minute by minute basis. Does that make sense?
The first assignment asked us to set some goals for out blog. I am terrible about being consistent with blogging. I know… That needs work. I promised myself and my readers that I would be more consistent and write more often and guess what? I haven’t. My apologies. I did finally realize today why I have not been writing. I started working out every weekday morning. What does that have to do with anything? It has everything to do with not writing. I usually write between 4am and 5am but now I am up preparing to leave the house at that time. My goal is to arrive at the gym by 6am. What to do? What to do? I don’t know…It looks like I will have to become more organized in other parts of my life in order to compensate for the blogging time. Technically speaking (why am I using that phrase? There is nothing technical about what I am speaking of), I will have to prepare the night before. I like getting up and making my breakfast and lunch in the mornings. But if I want to continue writing then I need to change that up and prepare in the evening. Why not just blog in the evening? I am a morning person. I am not sure how easy it would be to make that change. Besides, being the mom of four kids, during the school year we have activities and homework. You could wake up earlier! No, I am not waking up at 3am to blog. As much as I love blogging, I need to get some sleep. Reread the part about activities and homework then add in making a nutritious meal and trying to have real conversations with them before I crash.
My goals are to get ready in the evenings instead of the mornings.
Write three times a week in the morning.
Read and comment on blogs I am currently following and some I will follow in the future.