I went to a very nice place on Friday with some friends. One side of the place was an upscale restaurant and the other side was an upscale bar. As we walked in, one of the men in the group said, wives to the left, other women to the right. I didn’t catch on to what he said immediately but after he repeated it, I understood. You see, he was saying that husbands bring their wives to this place and take them to dinner in the restaurant section. Now, the bar wasn’t your typical neighborhood bar, it has a cigar room, the waiters and waitresses are dressed nicely, they give you warm towels and a lemon before bringing your food and they provide you with white linen napkins but it’s still to the right.
We laughed about his statement and then of course I knew I had a write a blog about that conversation. Now fellas, I am talking to the ladies. You can continue to read and you can comment but this one is not for you.

Alright ladies, it has happened to all of us at one time or another. You are dating a guy. He treats you the way you want to be treated. You have told your girlfriends about him and you may have even introduced him to friends and family. You consider him your man. Let me tell you how you know he’s not exclusively your man and you are not his main squeeze which means you are not his number one babe.

Does he consistently take you to the bar? I was doing that online dating thing and one guy kept inviting me out on dates to bars. Granted, some of the places were restaurant with bars but we always went to the bar section. After the third or fourth date I told him I like eating at restaurants and did not want to go to another bar. He invited me to one of my favorite restaurants and guess what? We sat at the bar. That was our last date. He received a Dear John text after that.

Are the only relatives you meet counting their last breaths or the ones the family has disowned?
He’s trying to make you feel like you are special but if you don’t meet the healthy relatives and the ones who get invited to family functions, you are not the main boo.

Speaking of family functions, if you have never been invited to one that means you are not the main one. Even if his family lives out of town, planes, trains and automobiles can get you to them. If you mean something to him, he will want to share you with his family.

He doesn’t allow you to come to his house or never invites you in his house. Do you know how much work it takes to remove pictures and feminine touches in a house? If he doesn’t let you in, there is somebody living there. I don’t care what he says, it’s not his sister, mother, aunt or cousin. It’s his honey and he is not allowing you in her house. Have you heard the saying, “Hell has no fury like a woman scorned?” He does not want to make her mad. Instead, he will take you to another bar.

Does he say he is active in his religion but never invites you to worship with him? He may come with you periodically but you have never been with him? No, you are not the girlfriend.

For my college ladies, if you are dating an athlete and he never invites you to see him play or if he is in a fraternity and he avoids you the night of the after party then you are not his college sweetheart.

He has limited availability. If he only calls you from the car, never between certain hours and hardly ever on the weekends it’s because he is with his wife and kids or number one woman which is not you.

If he puts distance between you when you are in public. He makes excuses not to hold your hand in or doesn’t walk beside you because he “just walks fast” then walk faster or face the reality.

I know if you are in the situation it’s hard to face the realities but there is someone out there that will take you to the left side of the restaurant, introduce you to his family and hold your hand in public.