Decoding women speak

I’m not willing to speak for all women everywhere. I will, however, speak for some women somewhere. Communication is the key to good relationships. We keep hearing this over and over and over again. If communicating was that easy, we would have it down by now. There are books, and videos, seminars and webinars degrees and professions all focused on communicating effectively.

I’m not charging for this. I am providing free advice on decoding how some women speak and what she means when she says some things.

First and foremost, if she asks you to do something she wants it done right now. More than likely she thought it should have been done days ago but she was waiting on you to take the initiative and get it done. But you walked past the overflowing trash can, the pile of clothes, the sink full of dishes and the dirty car among a long list of other things. Since it appears that you can’t see the obvious, she has no choice but to ask you. Highlight this part, she wants you to do it now. Right now! Not later, definitely not tomorrow and if you wait until next week expect to sleep next to flannels. The exceptions to this are if she gives you a specific date, “will you do this tomorrow?”

If asked what you are doing later, this can be interpreted in one of two ways depending on if you are single or married. If you are single, it means she is free and you should ask her out on a date. If you are married, there is probably a honey do list coming next.

I don’t feel the need to address the, “do I look fat” or “does this make me look fat”, the answer is always an immediate no. Not to quick because then she will think you are lying but without too long of a pause cause that makes it seem as though you are contemplating. You never contemplate the fat questions.

If you are having a discussion and she says, “fine”, just know it’s not fine but she’s just tired of talking about it right now. She is putting a pin in it and will bring it back up later. Trust me on that one.

When she says she’s tired and has had a long day, that means I’m not cooking or preparing a meal. You are on your own. If you want to earn some points, have a meal prepared and rub her back. Do not rub her back with any ulterior motives. Just rub her back because you care.

If she says anything that ends in again then you should rethink what you just said. Are we going there again? Are you watching football again? Are we eating there again? Are you wearing that again?

Here is a pop quiz. What does she mean when she says she has nothing to wear?
If you guessed all of her friends or the group you are hanging with have already seen the clothes she is considering, you are correct. It doesn’t matter if she has a closet full of clothes and some with the tags on them. She wants something new. You can get away with wearing the same khakis and white shirt. She cannot wear the same dress over and over again. She just can’t. It’s in the women’s handbook that you don’t know exists.

If you take my advice on one thing, let it be the one about doing what she asks immediately. She will appreciate you for the next 5 hours. You know you need to renew her gratefulness on a regular basis. If you do several things at one time, they all expire at the same time. They do not roll over nor can you use them in succession.

Consider yourself in the know.

What is it?

It’s an action
It’s a reaction
It’s what makes us click
It’s a look
It’s a smile
It’s a slight nod of your head
It’s a word
It’s a touch
It’s the things that were never said
It’s a nuzzle
It’s a kiss
It’s the small gestures
It’s I love you
It’s I don’t like you
It’s the ups and downs of relationships
It’s a whisper
It’s in your eyes
It’s your hand on the small of my back
It’s desire
It’s for real
It’s what I’ve been looking for
It’s you
It’s me
It’s a life together
It’s yours
It’s mine
It’s just the way that it is
It’s we
It’s ours
It’s the promise of a future
It’s together
It’s never a part
It’s infused in the depths of my heart
It’s real
It’s not fake
It’s yours and mine to make
It’s a lover
It’s a friend
It’s a commitment for life

The friendship that almost wasn’t

One day many sunsets and sunrises ago, a fly girl (that’s what the coolest and cutest young ladies were called) started a new job. With the new job there where too many people to count and she didn’t care to count them anyway. She needed a job and this was a job. She didn’t need or want a new friend. Lots of people were talking and bonding on this first day of work. Nervous and excited chatter was all around. The fly girl sat alone wanting to be alone and alone she remained. No eye contact, no smiles no invitations to sit and talk for a while.
On this first day another fly girl walked in, full of smiles and with laughing eyes. She offered a warm greeting and a smile. No warm greeting and definitely no smile was offered in return. Day after day the ritual continued. Then on a day that wasn’t so special, the one full of smiles and laughing eyes said, “we are going to be friends one day” to which the other replied, “I’m not accepting applications for friends right now, I have all I need.” With a look of surprise and a little determination the fly girl with the smiles and laughing eyes had made up here mind for sure. Whether destiny or determination a new position was created and they became friends. It wasn’t right away. There were weeks of resistance along with words of discouragement, moments of ignoring and overall I don’t want to be bothered.
One action and one look and a secret smile shared between them is all it took to bond them together forever.
Twenty years later they are still friends. Not the kind of friends that talk everyday or every week or every month. But the kind of friends that are there when needed and always willing to participate in girl talk or real talk or offer spiritual guidance. Sometimes they just listen in silence and say, I understand if anything at all.
Friendship is bond that can be broken but can also be mended.

Father’s Day

What’s in a name?
What’s in an action?
What’s in a thought?
What’s in a word?
There is meaning
There is effort
There is reflection
There is life or death
Present or absent
My dad was not and still is not a major part of my life. However, I appreciate him for the small things. A kind word, “I’m proud of you.” A phone call to say “hey I was thinking about you.” We don’t have many memories shared together but we have a few that are special. When we are together he looks at me and smiles. He hugs me and offers a forehead kiss. He walks with me and talks to me. I don’t ever remember hearing a negative word or criticism. There just were many of those special moments.
To him I say Happy Father’s Day.
To you, if you are a dad whether you are active in your children’s lives or not Happy Father’s Day