When I was a little girl (1)

When I was a little girl I loved to read. I was always checking out books from the school library. Sometimes I read several books a week. I didn’t spend all of my time watching the few channels we had on tv. I spent my days and evenings exploring a variety of places and living different experiences along side the characters in the books.

Then summer came along and I no longer had access to a library.

My neighborhood didn’t have libraries or bookstores. We could buy books or magazines from Eckerd Drug store or Tom Thumb but the selection was limited and I didn’t have any spare change.

I looked for libraries in the yellow pages and could not find any within walking distance. Waking distance back then was a few miles, not across the street or around the block. In the end, I road a city bus and walked a mile or so to get to the closest library and check out as many books as I was allowed at one time.

As I grew up and moved to the suburbs, I realized that libraries could be within walking distance of your home. I took my children to reading time at the library and they participated in summer reading programs.

It has been proven that reading has a very positive effect on children and adults. Why don’t all neighborhoods have libraries within a certain mile radius? Why isn’t that a priority? If we invest now, we pay less later.

Happy Birthday to You

Dear Melody,

You were planted in my dreams before you became a reality. I loved the thought of you from the beginning.

Did I ever tell you that I always wanted a daughter? I wanted to experience the mother daughter bond. You are everything I hoped for. Although it would have been nice if you would have tolerated bows and tiaras.

I want you to know that I’m proud of you. I love who you have become as well as the thought of who you will be.

When you go to college in the fall I’m going to miss you. I’ll miss the moody mornings. I will miss you staying in your room until after five pm. I’ll miss seeing your developing coffee obsession. I’ll miss your quiet judgment as we sing karaoke. I’ll miss your laughter and quick wit. I will miss you bouncing and almost stumbling downstairs to tell me a tale of the latest happenings. I’ll miss our quiet evenings sitting together on the sofa.

Happy 18th Birthday to you!

Love, mom

I’m back

It’s been a while since I’ve posted but I’m here. I’m dusting off my blog.

Look for lots of random posts about any and everything. In the coming days I’ll share with you an accidental discovery on what to use to kill the ants in your house. I can’t wait to share with you my concerns about butter. I’ll also write some short stories.

I’ve missed writing so very much. I’ve been busy but also just putting it off. Now it’s time to get all of these stories out of my head and onto my blog.

Oh hey! Look for videos as I review products and whatever else. It should be fun. I’m going to let my 12 year old, aka Stud Muffin, edit my videos. That should interesting.

What have you been up to?

The Wait

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who charge you or will not see you if you are late but don’t provide the same consideration. 

How many times have you waited on your hairstylist, mechanic, doctor or anybody else for an extended period of time even though you made a appointment? I know ish happens and it throws off their schedule. Why not call me to say you’re running behind? Give me the option of coming in later or rescheduling for another day. 

A doctor’s office may charge you a copay for being late and make you reschedule your appointment. But what do they do for you when they are running late? My time is just as valuable as theirs. 

Yesterday I waited 42 minutes, yes I was watching the clock. Why? I needed to get to a PTA meeting. I gave myself plenty of time by scheduling at 2pm and the meeting was at 4:30 with a 20 minute drive. I started getting anxious because I wasn’t sure if this was just the first wait. You know how you wait in the common area but then wait again in the room? I had mentally given them until 3pm to come get me. 

I made a different doctor’s appointment during lunch time for something else. Forty-five minutes later…I approached the front desk and asked, how much longer? Their response? About an hour. Are you kidding me? I requested a refund of the copay they insisted on collecting upfront. They looked confused and offered me a credit. No thanks. That forces me to return to you for services. As politely as possible I told them it was rude and inconsiderate of patients to make them wait. “You could have called me and said you were running behind.” 

If I go through the process of making an appointment the least you can do is see me on time or call me if it’s delayed. Making me wait is unacceptable. Especially if you have a firm late policy that cancels my appointment and charges me a fee. My time is just as valuable. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if clients or patients could charge a fee or receive a credit every time they are made to wait longer than 5 or 10 minutes? I think so. 

Thanks for listening. 

love is…

After dinner last night and when all the dishes were loaded in the dishwasher, I asked the Fantastik4 to come back to the dinning room table and have a seat. Like most of us, when somebody says they want to talk your mind starts racing through all of the recent events attempting to determine what happened? Why do we need to sit down? I’m sure they were wondering, is this was another lecture or were we going to play a game?

It was actually neither. I decided at the last minute that I wanted to talk about love. I wanted to know what love meant to them. As I reflect on our conversation I wonder why we don’t openly share what love looks like or feels like to us. It’s different for everybody. But instead of being forthright, we want people to guess. We would not go to a restaurant and expect the waiter to guess what we want for our meal. We don’t expect an employer to guess what job or salary we want. We don’t expect a car dealership to guess which car we want. Most of us typically have a good idea of what we want even if we are open to some suggestions. Why aren’t we the same way with love.

I understand we may not know. But if we put some thought into it then we will figure it out and help the people who love us the most to love us better. I have read and really do like The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. That’s a great guide. But if we ask and we tell, think of how much deeper the understanding will become.

When I asked the Fan4 what love looks like to them, this is what they said:
Provide, protect, trusting and believing
Take care of and care for
Protect and take chances for (this interprets into willingness to sacrifice)
Kindness and respect

All of their responses touched me. I took a moment to think about their personalities and reactions in different situations. Now I understand some things a lot better.

The stud muffin, the baby of the bunch, is the one who said to him love means to take care of and care for. I had a breakthrough with those few and very simple words. I have a better understanding of how to parent and relate to him. He is the child who seems easily frazzled and frustrated. We have often asked ourselves, what wrong with him? Now I get it. This morning was a prime example of how I missed an opportunity to love him they way he wants to be loved. He had a field trip permission form that required a signature and a form to order a special t-shirt  for Field Day. Well, in all honesty, I glanced at both forms and did not pay close attention to the due dates. I received a call from a very frustrated little guy this morning. He started the conversation with, I can’t participate in field day because you didn’t fill out my form and I don’t get a t-shirt because I don’t have $5.00. Flashback to the night before. I didn’t take care of him. I apologized profusely and asked to speak to the teenager. I explained my mistake and asked him to fill out the forms and give the stud muffin change for $10 I had given him for lunch. The crisis was diverted and this time, an unhappy kid did not get on the bus with his heart broken. I have made a promise to myself to pay more attention. I love him. I want him to see it in his way. I want to take care of things that are important to him that we agree will occur.

Today was not my best mommy day. Little Dude need a certain sized tri-fold science project board. I bought the wrong size last night during my late night run to the store. Love to him is kindness and respect. Because I bought a board, I got a pass. But he set the expectations and gave me time frames to have the board to him today. I couldn’t do it but I promised to make it happen and with the help of my super nephew, he received his board. Whew!

Let’s think about this love thing. How easy is it to communicate what love looks like to you? Do you ever ask what love looks like to the people you are loving? You may be surprised. Ask at least one person what love looks like to them. Then ask yourself. I believe we can take our relationships to the next level of love if we take time to ask and listen.

I fell in love yesterday 

I fell in love yesterday 

I have to admit

It wasn’t live at first sight

We had seen each other many times before

I always dreaded the visits

For whatever reason I always agreed to one more

I’d often leave weary, discouraged or sad

Yesterday was different I left happy and excited

My heart was won over after years upon years

But I have another 

The idea of breaking it off brings me to tears 

I’ve got to let go

I need to walk away

Yesterday was full of revelation

My heart was conflicted 

My old love’s lies and deceit were revealed

We have history 

I thought we had commitment 

We see each other weekly

We’ve know each other for years

But the last six months have been more intense

I didn’t think we would ever part

In my heart I hoped that this was the one

But my new love is my new love

Now I must move on

Once the trust is nonexistent

There is nothing left to share

I’ve made my choice

I’m choosing the electronic scale at my doctor’s office 

The gym scale is full of lies