Reading and Heeding the Signs

(picture from http://www.roadtrafficsigns.com)

How often do you ignore a road sign while driving? Do you run red lights or speed through school zones? Are you one of those people who thinks a railroad sign is a challenge to beat the train? If you do heed the signs have you ever wondered why? Is it to avoid a fine or for safety reason? If you don’t heed the roadway signs, why not?

What’s your sign? I’m not recycling a pickup line. We hold up different signs based upon our current circumstances. I reconnected with an old friend recently. His sign said, a Warning Do Not Enter! But I pushed the door open and stuck my head in anyway.

The question I have is, why do we forge ahead ignoring signs? In all fairness to him, he told me he only wanted a friendship, he said his life is complicated and didn’t appear as though he was making moves to uncomplicate it and he clearly stated his long term goal was to be alone. My mind was clouded by the person I knew previously and thinking, why would anybody make plans to intentionally be alone the rest of their lives? Then i mentally justified hanging around. He’s saying that now but he will change his mind eventually.

I was listening to his words and watching his actions. Everything he does lines up with what he says. He acts like a person who wants to be alone. He speaks like a person who wants to be a lone and he lives the life of person who doesn’t want a relationship due to the complications of life. I am not saying any of this is bad. As a matter of fact it’s quite good. There are no false hopes or conflicting messages being presented, just the truth. How can I get upset at his truth? After realizing we were walking down to different paths that would not meet up in the end, I let go of hope for anything more than a distant friendship.

At the time I was quoting Maya Angelou to myself over and over again, “when somebody shows you who they are the first time, believe them.” In other words, read and heed their sign. I can honestly say I saw warning signs with my ex. I ignored them because he was sweet, funny, spiritual and cute. However, he held up a huge sign with blinking lights that said Insecure and Controlling. Since the divorce I’ve proceeded with caution except for the times when I’m not. 

There was a time, for several years after my divorce, when someone would ask me if I wanted a relationship and my standard reply was, “I don’t know.” When you don’t know what you want then you amble along going where ever the wind takes you. I ended up in a relationship that had no real direction or commitment and a job that was not leading to anywhere. After that, I decided to have a little sit down with myself. I needed to determine what I wanted in a career and relationship.

My signs today say, Construction Site because I am two classes from graduation with an MEd and I Want a Committed and Meaningful Relationship. Now, I only apply for jobs that align with my career goals. I don’t have any desire to spend my time in a job but does not line up with my career aspirations. As far as relationships are concerned, I am committed to start reading the signs and believing them without wasting days, months and definitely not years pretending I don’t know what the sign says.

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Hear ye hear ye 

it’s national poetry writing month. The goal is to write a poem a day. I’m not sure I can commit to that but I will write more than usual. 

I suddenly become aware of the silence

Ssshhhhh 

Listen

Now my mind is racing

My heart is pumping

What’s going on?

It’s too quiet

I walk cautiously through the house

Every step takes me closer to the unknown

As I peer around the corner, I see them

One is sitting on the counter

The other is sitting on the floor

They were finally successful

After many foiled attempts

They got into the cookie jar

— I will call this one, Toddlers—

National Poetry Writing Month