The Sisterhood

Yesterday, I became a lifetime member of an exclusive sisterhood. 

Don’t be jealous. 

Joining this sisterhood is not like joining a sorority where you’re bonded together by a common goal and a mission statement. 

It’s not as glamorous as becoming a member of an exclusive country club. 

Unfortunately it’s not even as beneficial as belonging to SAM’s or Costco club. 

I don’t know of anyone who anxiously waited to join the ranks. 

No one is sitting around contemplating what to wear to the nonexistent induction ceremony. 

There’s no welcome party or monthly meetings. 

This sisterhood is composed of girls and women who have lost their mom’s. 

The ones who no longer have that earthly  representation, in human form, of life that gave them life. 

I didn’t want to be a member. I never signed on the dotted line. 

But now I’m here. 

It’s official. 

I am now a lifetime member of this exclusive club. 

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The Wait

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who charge you or will not see you if you are late but don’t provide the same consideration. 

How many times have you waited on your hairstylist, mechanic, doctor or anybody else for an extended period of time even though you made a appointment? I know ish happens and it throws off their schedule. Why not call me to say you’re running behind? Give me the option of coming in later or rescheduling for another day. 

A doctor’s office may charge you a copay for being late and make you reschedule your appointment. But what do they do for you when they are running late? My time is just as valuable as theirs. 

Yesterday I waited 42 minutes, yes I was watching the clock. Why? I needed to get to a PTA meeting. I gave myself plenty of time by scheduling at 2pm and the meeting was at 4:30 with a 20 minute drive. I started getting anxious because I wasn’t sure if this was just the first wait. You know how you wait in the common area but then wait again in the room? I had mentally given them until 3pm to come get me. 

I made a different doctor’s appointment during lunch time for something else. Forty-five minutes later…I approached the front desk and asked, how much longer? Their response? About an hour. Are you kidding me? I requested a refund of the copay they insisted on collecting upfront. They looked confused and offered me a credit. No thanks. That forces me to return to you for services. As politely as possible I told them it was rude and inconsiderate of patients to make them wait. “You could have called me and said you were running behind.” 

If I go through the process of making an appointment the least you can do is see me on time or call me if it’s delayed. Making me wait is unacceptable. Especially if you have a firm late policy that cancels my appointment and charges me a fee. My time is just as valuable. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if clients or patients could charge a fee or receive a credit every time they are made to wait longer than 5 or 10 minutes? I think so. 

Thanks for listening. 

Whole45 or maybe 90

I shared in a previous post, What’s up with me, that I was doing the Whole30 Diet and really enjoying the benefits. On Whole30 you eliminate a lot of foods. I thought I would struggle the most with desserts. I love sweets. I really do. But I cut them out. I actually can’t remember the last time I baked a cake, cookie or muffin in my own kitchen. 

My struggle has been French fries and ketchup. Who knew??? Now, you can have fries but only if you put in the work to peel, cut and bake the or sauté them in an approved oil, deep frying is a no no. The struggle… I’ve had fries with ketchup once a week at least. 

My 30th day was July 4. But since I have not overcome my craving or addiction I’m supposed to start over. I told myself I would not have any this week. But I’ve eaten them twice already. Is there a support group for fry addiction? Would you attend if I started one? My goal, starting Monday, is to go an entire week without one fry. I can do this. 

What’s up with me?

I’m glad you asked. 

But first, here is a quick recap. I’m the mom of four children that I lovingly refer to as the Fantastik4. Their ages are 17, 15, 11 and 10. I have three boys and the 15 year old is a girl. 

Moving on…

I jumped on the bandwagon and decided to try Whole30. I have wanted to try this for a while but with four kids it’s a little difficult to make a radical eating change, even though it’s temporary, and stick to it if the entire household is not one one accord. I waited until the younger three of the Fantastik4 went to visit their dad for two weeks. I wanted to do this for me, not us and I wanted to be successful. I’m on day 20. 

Because I haven’t done everything 100% according to the plan, I’m extending the time beyond 30 days. Restaurant fries and ketchup became my stumbling block one or maybe two days. I love french fries. That’s my confession. I’ve done well other wise. 

The other thing I’ve been doing is contemplating my next steps towards helping others live a healthier life. One day I met a nutritionist/ personal trainer in the grocery store. She was passing out flyers for a boot camp that was paired with nutrition counseling. As she gave me her sales pitch she said, “The real thing I’m selling is nutrition counseling but people believe working out is the key to weight loss so I’ve put the two together.”

I’m going a step further and saying the key to “whole life wellness” is a combination of many things including healing our bodies with oils, nutrition, drinking clean water, exercise, supplements, as well as the reduction to chemical exposure. 

Every year for the last 10 years or so I’ve eliminated or added things to our lives to improve the short long term quality of life for us. We have a strong history of cancer in my family. In an effort to reduce if not eliminate the chances of developing the horrible disease I knew I needed to make lifestyle changes. I wanted to make them gradually because I didn’t want an uprising in my home. Since I purchase everything we eat and all products we use I have the obligation and duty to make good choices for my family. I’m not 100% where I’d like to be but I’m well on my way. 

This is my invitation to you to join me on a journey to wellness. The portion I’d like to help you with is using essential oils

I became a Young Living Oil (YLO) distributor almost two years ago. I did it for my family as part of our journey to wellness. I also became s a distributor for the 24% discount off of the retail price on the products. I told my cousin about my desire to begin sharing my love for essential oils a few weeks ago and I’m pretty sure I offended her because I usually tell her everything but had not shared this information. I honestly don’t know why it never occurred to me. But I told her then and I’m inviting you now. Let’s walk or jog or interval run together towards a goal of wellness. 

I’m in the process of creating my website for YLO where I will share my personal experience, videos on when and how to use the products as well as highlights of various oils and their benefits. I will also share information about research I’ve found and post suggestion concerning nutrition, exercise, supplements etc. that will make our journey to wellness successful. 

Here is a link if you’re ready to signup with Young Living Oil. 

Click here 

Or email me for questions. I’ll even share my discount with you. 

Be well and be whole. 

Cup and Saucer

Many, many, did I say many? moons ago I remember hearing people talk about standardized testing and how they are biased. The specific example I remember hearing was regarding a question along the lines of, what do you place a cup on? The correct answer was a saucer.

A couple of months ago during a volunteer opportunity/work event I was talking to a teacher who works with students of financially challenged parents. She was teaching her class to set a table for a meal. As she provided instruction for sitting down at the table, she said, “like you do at home” to which a student replied, we don’t have a table at home. That was a reality check for the teacher. Never assume the students have tables, chairs, or anything else.

When I was growing up, my brothers and I ate in our individual rooms and usually in front of the television. I remember a table at some point but I also remember them having a fight, breaking the table then using the top to break dance on. They were resourceful fellows and the first in the neighborhood to repurpose furniture for entertainment. The guys in the neighborhood learned how to break dance on that table, I became their agent and manager by finding places for them to dance for money.

But anyway…

I don’t remember sitting at the table as a family. I don’t recall ever using a cup and saucer. I would sometimes make my mom a cup of instant coffee but I didn’t give it to her with a saucer. I didn’t drink hot tea back then. I would not have been able to pick out a proper tea cup in a line up.

I honestly didn’t learn how to set a table until I was in my early 20’s. I learned after a very embarrassing incident during a visit at the home of the parents of my boyfriend at the time. It was Christmas. His mother asked me to set the table. Uh, what? At the time I swear she was trying to expose my ignorance in many areas in order to discourage him from dating me. I pulled him aside and confided in him my delimna. I had never set a table in my life. After telling me lay down, he told his mother I had a headache and needed to rest. He set the table for me.

Cup and saucer… we make a lot of assumptions about the lives people live and the experiences they have. The affects of those assumptions are evident when only a certain group of people are invited to the table to make decisions about an entire population of people. The decision makers pull from their limited experience without regard for others. I will not say it’s intentional, although I’m not ruling that out. I will attribute some of the decisions to ignorance, being out of touch with various people groups and perhaps not caring to understand.

Some might think or even say a person who grew up in a household without a table is doomed or will not have the ability to over come. These are the people who are easy to discard and write off. I say to you, you are wrong. I believe if given opportunity, education and wisdom most of us will thrive.

Are the tests bias? Of course they are. The question I have is, how do we bridge the gap between the decision makers and the experiences of the test takers?

Walk with Me

There are a lot of duties and responsibilities that go along with raising children. As parents or guardians we try to impart our wisdom, morals, values, knowledge, culture, beliefs, political views, financial knowledge etc. It is an extensive list. 

One of the things I’m imparting to my kids is to walk with me. That sounds strange but let me tell you why.

I walk a lot. I walk for exercise. I walk to get vitamin D. I walk to relieve stress. I walk to commune with nature. I walk to get out of the office or house. I walk to contemplate. I walk to pray. Some walks are long. Others are intense. Then there are the times I walk with my children. 

We walk as a group to enjoy family time. Sometimes I walk with them individually. It’s during the solo times that I’m able to connect with them on a personal more intimate level as well as discuss my future expectations for them in regards to me. 

I’m not old but I’m not young. I’m at a good point in my life but the truth is I’m getting older. I’d rather face the facts rather than hide from them or deny them. I like having a plan or two in place. I don’t have anything written down but I do verbally share my expectations of how I want to be cared for, when I’m struggling to care for myself, with my children. 

The walks are a key component of that plan. Let me say this, they are typical kids and don’t always want to go on a walk with their mom. They moan and groan and ask, “why me?!” (Because you are the chosen one, now let’s go.) I have pre-walking negotiation meetings with them to determine which route? How far? How fast? Can I listen to music, ride my scooter run, bring some water? After we settle on the terms we head out. 

Back to the purpose and plan of the walk. When I’m older I want them to visit me and walk with me. “Walk with me when I’m old” is my request. Spend some time with me. Bring music I like to listen to now. I want to recreate fond memories of one of the things I love to do with the people I love being with. As we walk today I’m storing away memories that I hope to unlock in the future with something as simple as a walk. 

Bob

I didn’t realize the strangeness of Bob until I was talking about him to my cousin. The thing that’s strange is not that he exists as much as my daughter named him Bob. He is a presence that lives in our house. 

He makes himself known by closing the cabinets in the upstairs bathroom or walking around. I hear him when the kids are gone. I use to think somebody lived in our attic and would come out when the they were visiting their dad but then I realized it wasn’t just me who heard him. We have all experienced him and my daughter named him Bob. 

Last week I heard an audible knock on my door. My alarm had gone off moments before. As I lay in the bed contemplating what I was wearing to work and whether or not I was going to the gym, I heard it. I thought maybe it was one of the younger two so I waited for the “mom?” but it never came. I waited to hear footsteps walking up the stairs but that didn’t happen either. 

A day or two later I mentioned the knock to the kiddos. My daughter said, “I guess Bob is back from vacation. He’s been gone for a while.” One of the younger two said he heard footsteps the other night. 

Welcome back Bob.