A Woman’s Virtue

Back in March, there was a report of a young man who was shot and killed while standing in a female’s bedroom. This was the bedroom of the shooter’s daughter. The father asked a couple of questions, the young man reached for something, the father shot him. When she was initially questioned by her father, the daughter said she did not know the young man.
Deep sigh.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/03/13/houston-dad-fatally-shoots-teen-inside-daughters-room-report-says/

When I first saw this article I pulled my oldest two children aside and spoke to them about a woman’s (female’s) virtue. The Teenager was 14 and Honeygirl was 11. This article broke my heart for all involved but created an opportunity for some real conversations between them and me.

I told them what happened according to the article. Then I went on to explain a woman’s virtue. You see, a woman, girl, female will do or say anything to protect her perceived virtue. She will lie, deny, accuse or blame if needed.

Right around this time, the Teenager had done something immature to one of his female friends. He unknowingly embarrassed her in front of her mother and siblings. She quit speaking to him after that incident. We talked through the scenario and I explained his missteps. He created an awkward moment for her in front of her family. Her virtue wasn’t at stake but it was a good lead in to our conversation. She may have reacted differently if her family hadn’t been there but they were.

During our conversation about a woman’s virtue I said, it is your job not to put yourself in a position with a girl when afterwards, she has to lie, is embarrassed or feels ashamed. In secret, she may allow you to do anything to her but when people find out, she will feel the need to protect her virtue. She will choose her virtue over you going to jail or losing your life. Most girls don’t want anybody to know they go all the way or even part of the way, especially not their dad. My advice to my son, if you can’t walk through the front door of her house, don’t go. If you need to wait until her parents are asleep to meet up with her, don’t go. Now I understand getting caught up in the moment and the excitement that goes along with being invited into a girl’s room. I get it. But understand the risks. It’s not worth being accused of rape, breaking and entering, and it’s not worth your future for a moment of pleasure. I also advised him not to kiss and tell. Let her keep her perceived virtue.

To my daughter I said, don’t lie. Own your actions and decisions. If you don’t want anybody else to know, don’t commit the action then there is nothing to tell. I explained the ramifications of a lie to a young man’s life and his future.

I would love to have my children remain pure until marriage but just in case the offer is too good to turn down, I want them to understand the consequences. It could be a matter of life or death.

I can’t help but wonder

I was reading an article about Meatless Mondays that is being “forced” on students in public schools. The article states animal rights activists are behind this movement. They are talking to students about the earth, the animals and what eating meat does to both.
Read the article here: http://news.yahoo.com/public-schools-forcibly-subject-students-meatless-monday-activism-021822637.html

I don’t have a problem with Meatless Mondays or Fish only Fridays. But I do wonder what life would look like if everybody minded their own business. What would the world look like if you were allowed to worship, eat, marry, learn, teach, dress they way you wanted to. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand we need rules and laws. I don’t support abuse of humans or cruelty to animals. Hhmmm I guess that’s the thing, my definition of abuse to animals is not the same as an animal rights activist’s view on abuse. Where is the common ground? If you don’t believe in eating meat then by all means, don’t eat meat. If you don’t want to wear clothes at the beach, there are places designated for that. If you dont’ want to worship a God then don’t go to church. If you don’t appreciate emissions from cars then walk. If you want to feed your children fast food every night and never give them a vegetable, I’m good with that as well. How much of life are we going to regulate, manipulate, and dictate?

Is it our duty as a society to push our agenda on others? Why do we insist on others living the way we live? Why must other’s worship your God? Let me throw this out here, how different is the ISIS from the Christian Crusades? How many lost their lives in the effort to advance the kingdom?

If I don’t vote the way you think I should, why can’t we still be friends? Why must we insult other people who vote, live and think differently? Why can’t I embrace your way of life and you embrace mine.

Again, I understand we need laws to deter crime. But we have a lot of laws on the books now and there is still quite a bit of crime going on daily. Is it because we don’t have enough laws? Is it because the thought of sitting in prison for life is not a deterrent? Perhaps it’s because we don’t love enough. If we put our differences aside and I look at you as a fellow human on this journey of life together and accept you where you are the way you are, would the heaviness of life appear a little lighter? If you could go to a neighbor and say, I am having a bad day and need to leave my kids with you for a day and not fear the state taking them away, would more children live or not experience abuse? If you could say to your partner, I need a break from you and have the option of taking a break, would more marriages survive? If a teen could say to a parent, teacher, friend, counselor I am having a tough time and have thoughts of committing suicide or killing people in mass and receive help instead of judgement or isolation, would they reach out?

I don’t have answers but I do have a lot of questions.

Meatless Mondays… Per the article, if you don’t support meatless Mondays, pack your kids a lunch. Don’t get me started on the number of kids that don’t have food at home to pack. That’s another topic for another day.