Today I am thankful for you. You survived another day or night. You chose life or life chose you. You opened your home or decided to travel to someone else’s to share this day and moment with someone else. I’m thankful that you are serving those without food to eat. I’m thankful there is food for you to eat. I’m thankful that the struggle hasn’t taken you out. I’m thankful you have overcome the struggle. Im thankful for those who give and for those who receive. I’m thankful for those who are surrounded by love even if that love is eminating from within. I’m thankful that you escaped or have a plan or have a dream to leave. Im thankful that you stayed and everything is working out. I’m thankful for your new relationships as well as your tried and true ones. I’m thankful you found a place to lay your head. I’m thankful for the company you started, the employees you hired and for the economic difference you will make. I’m thankful you accepted the job, quit your job or sent another resume. I’m thankful that you still have a glimmer of hope in the midst of despair. I’m thankful your life is overflowing with favor. I’m thankful for my children, family, friends, coworker’s and you who stopped by to read my blog. My thankfulness extends beyond today. I was thankful for you yesterday and will be thankful for you tomorrow. Virtual hugs, pat on the back or just a warm smile to you.
How often are hormones blamed for a woman’s “attitudes”? How often do others mutter under their breathe, “she must be hormonal”? Depending on the stage of life our moods are attributed to PMS or the various stages of menopause.
How often are men approach and asked if they’re hormonal? How often do you walk away from a conversation with them thinking, I’ll just avoid him for the next couple of days until the coast is clear? Never?!?!
When a friend of mine decided we needed to have a heart to heart in which she danced around my new found freedom to speak my mind, her questions came back to, are you hormonally balanced? As I rolled my eyes and threw out some random justifications I reviewed the last five years of my life.
Began working full-time after 10 years of being a stay at home mom
A year long custody battle
Incurred legal fees out of the wazoo
Although I’ve been working for the same company for five years I am in my third department
I have four active kids
Attended grad school for two years
I have a teenaged son (enough said)
My ex has been unemployed for about two of those five years (no financial support during that time)
I made some commitments to myself to become a better leader, mom and eventually partner. You see, I typically avoid confrontation but a few years ago I decided to stand my ground and express my opinions.
The answer to the question is maybe but why is that the first thing that comes to mind rather than reviewing my circumstances or just patting me on the back and saying, “congratulations on your personal growth and for not only surviving the last five years but excelling in school as well as work and coparenting four amazing children who are well rounded, funny, and intelligent, all while maintaining a healthy lifestyle and being a great friend to many”?
I still wonder if I were a man would we have had the conversation at all?
It’s been approximately 7367 days since I last saw you
But who’s counting?
Where have you been?
Have you lived a full life?
How are you, my friend?
Have you laughed or cried?
I’ve missed looking into your eyes
Do you still have the same smile?
Are you missing teeth?
Is your hair gray?
What prompted you to leave anyway?
The only thing that matters is you’re back
Sit down, take a load off and stay a while
We have a lifetime of life to catch up on
My motive? I have none
Catching up with a friend
Laughing at, “remember when…”
Is it true that authentic friendships never fade?
Not even after 7367 days
One day many sunsets and sunrises ago, a fly girl (that’s what the coolest and cutest young ladies were called) started a new job. With the new job there where too many people to count and she didn’t care to count them anyway. She needed a job and this was a job. She didn’t need or want a new friend. Lots of people were talking and bonding on this first day of work. Nervous and excited chatter was all around. The fly girl sat alone wanting to be alone and alone she remained. No eye contact, no smiles no invitations to sit and talk for a while.
On this first day another fly girl walked in, full of smiles and with laughing eyes. She offered a warm greeting and a smile. No warm greeting and definitely no smile was offered in return. Day after day the ritual continued. Then on a day that wasn’t so special, the one full of smiles and laughing eyes said, “we are going to be friends one day” to which the other replied, “I’m not accepting applications for friends right now, I have all I need.” With a look of surprise and a little determination the fly girl with the smiles and laughing eyes had made up here mind for sure. Whether destiny or determination a new position was created and they became friends. It wasn’t right away. There were weeks of resistance along with words of discouragement, moments of ignoring and overall I don’t want to be bothered.
One action and one look and a secret smile shared between them is all it took to bond them together forever.
Twenty years later they are still friends. Not the kind of friends that talk everyday or every week or every month. But the kind of friends that are there when needed and always willing to participate in girl talk or real talk or offer spiritual guidance. Sometimes they just listen in silence and say, I understand if anything at all.
Friendship is bond that can be broken but can also be mended.
If I could love you through your heart ache I would
The things that plague you are beyond my natural reach
If I could kiss away your bruises I would
My lips cannot reach your past
If I could hug away the pain I would
But you hold onto it like it’s your lifeline
If I could set you on the road to freedom I would
But you hold the key to the shackles keeping you bound
If I could use my words to lift you up I would
But the weight of your burdens is too much for me to carry
But I will be your friend and I will walk with you ’til the end
* Make sure his or her dream is bigger than your reality.
* Clingy may be cute early on but not so much years later.
* Love is a four letter word that deserves its own category.
* If you are making excuses for their behavior early on, back away slowly then run.
* Take your time to get to know each other.
* Chemistry is a class you take.
* Believe what they say and do.
* Expectations are not a bad thing.
* Show the day to day you early on.
Have you ever looked a picture of yourself and asked something along the line of, “is that what I look like?” Is it true that pictures don’t lie? Then I guess mirrors are deceptive. Or is my mind playing tricks on me? I have this theory that we don’t see ourselves as others see us. My theory goes beyond the physical.
In recent days and months I have been described as a perfectionist (gasp! not me!), quirky (the person who said this is head of the quirky is us club so I don’t give it much credence) and then as recent as yesterday someone said I am resilient. I must say this one has me perplexed even more than the others. Resilient…in my mind, resilient is what you call an object that can withstand being tossed around not lose its shape or form, like a tennis ball.
I believe the dictionary is my friend so I looked up the word resilient. It is defined as springing back, rebounding, returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed or stretched. The word buoyant was also used in the description. The definition of buoyant is cheerful and optimistic. Now that is a word I can identify with.
Back to my theory…
If you made a list of 10 adjectives that describe you and had family, friends and foes do the same, how many common words would you find on the lists? I can tell you perfectionist, quirky and resilient would never had made it on my list.
A few months ago, after being encouraged/harassed by a friend, I joined a popular dating site. I did not walk away with a love connection but I did develop my theory and lots of supportive data. On the site I joined, you develop a self profile. What I was able to determine in a short amount of time is people wrote one thing but their lives didn’t necessarily reflect those words. Now being the buoyant person that I am, I chose to believe they weren’t being deceptive, but they believed what they saw in the mirror and had not taken a recent snapshot of their lives.
As I take a look at me from the perspective of other people, I still am not sure that I am resilient. I just press on in spite of obstacles and choices and circumstances. When I make it through to the other side of stretching situations, I hope the experience does not leave me the same but better. Resilient? Not really. Pliable? Definitely.