I attended a meeting for an organization I recently joined. The speaker of the evening was providing insight on how to develop your network (networth) The presenter, Debbie, made some very compelling points. One of those was about the people in your network. Those are people you come into contact with that you are able to influence or that are able to influence you. She had the attendees to fill out a list of people in our lives and put them into two categories, brown or green. Brown represents negative, non-life giving, stagnant, Debbie downer type of people. Green represents life giving, positive, hopeful, moving forward type of people. Then she went on to challenge us to have more green people in our lives and to determine whether or not the brown people could become green or if they are forever browns. If there are forever browns they needed to get weeded out of our lives. (I’m summarizing not quoting) I’m glad to say I have more green in my life than brown.
Give it a try. Write down the names of your friends, colleagues and close acquaintances and categorize them as either brown or green. Well, the process should start with you. Are you brown or green? We don’t want to make any assumptions. Then categorize your circle of influence. We all have a bad day and bad things that happen to us. But do you or the people in your life live in the land of sad, angry, pitiful, spiteful, hurting and whoa is me? If you live there, it’s time to move. If you are visiting, you’ve probably worn out your welcome and need to go back to your happy place.
She did not say abandon your brown list. But take some time to determine whether or not you can help them develop some green. From me to you, don’t allow them to pull you into the dark side. If you are not already fully functioning as a green person, avoid the browns until you are in a better place. A pity party is not the social event of the year. It’s more like quicksand. (side note, where does one find quicksand other than movies?)
Time to go forth and cultivate some positive relationships.