All that glitters…

In 1848 the California gold rush was born. For every precious metal or jewel, there is either a man-made or nature made duplicate. In the case of the gold rush, there was fool’s gold. Now, to the amateur and inexperienced people fools gold looked real. But the people who understood the qualities of real gold or who had been deceived by fool’s gold or who simply did their research knew the difference. The difference, once you knew, was unmistakable. Real gold is soft, it doesn’t smell like sulfur, the colors were different and the gold could be cut or bitten into without breaking your teeth whereas fool’s gold is brittle and hard.

In 1995, 147 years after the California gold rush, the online dating rush began. I have heard of some success stories in this arena I have also heard from both men and women the difficulties. The challenge is determining what is foolishness versus what is genuine. I joined a site after a friend told me I need to start dating again. I had a few dates but nothing to brag about. I mostly had a lot of laughs at the foolishness. I eventually let my membership run out. Then six months later a different friend suggested I rejoin. Why do I keep listening to these people? I don’t know but I did.

This time around has been a little better but again, lots of phonies, posers, pretenders, fake people and fool’s gold. If a guy says he is 5’11 I don’t expect to be eye to eye with him if I have on 2 inch heels. (I’m 5’6) You may be thinking, that’s not a big deal, guys tend to round-up to the next whole inch. It is a big deal. If you would fudge on your height, what else are you fudging on? One guy had a picture posted that was 10 years old. The date was on the picture. Come one…really? Other’s say they are single when they are actually married and yet others say they like going out and experiencing new things but when you talk, they rant about the price of a glass of wine at a restaurant.

The premise of this particular site is you fill out a profile about your self, height, age, body type, ethnicity, religion etc. They you write a mini biography about yourself. This is where you sell yourself to who ever is searching or checking you our in their daily list of people. In this mini bio, people list their best qualities and characteristics. I’m guessing this is the stuff their mother’s tell them or maybe something they would have seen in a movie. Some are witty, some are straight forward and some are blah. The real test comes during conversation or on that first date. This is when you determine if you have the real thing or not. Some people can pretend for a while but eventually they show themselves. I have found that after a conversation or two I can smell the sulfur.

Recently one guy looked really good on paper. He was saying the right things but there was something not quite right. He was saying too many of the right things. He was saying things that most guys don’t say after a few years of marriage let alone after a few conversations. Because I had a suspicion, I googled him only to realize a lot of what he said was lies. Gotta love (or hate) the internet.

Nonetheless, I am still on the site and weeding through the foolishness or at least having a hearty laugh with my girlfriends. I am glad that I am just cynical enough not to believe everything I am told but hopeful enough to believe I will find real gold one day or I will write one heck of a book. In the mean time, I will keep an eye out for the fool’s gold.