Fears (Day 17)

Spiders, snakes, being old(er) and alone and living a life without purpose. Those are my top four fears. I have other things that make me fearful but I don’t want to go on and on about things like Stephen King’s books and movies. Have you ever read Tommy Knockers? Shudder, that was my last scary book. Then there is that red rum scene in the Shining that make me want to hide in my closet. 

Last year my ex took me back to court to change custody. Some days I was very afraid. The financial impact and the possibility of him winning the case caused me anxiety for many months. 

I refuse to live the rest of my life in fear. I had plenty of fears growing up. I feared too many things and people. I was concerned about what people would say to me, if the mean girls were going to threaten to beat me up, were they going to make fun of my clothes today? Those are big deals to middle school girls. 

When thoughts come to my mind or I’m having too many negative conversations with myself I repeat two of my favorite quotes. “Only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt and “God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7. 

Advertisements

Wax on…wax off

Wax on, wax off…these four little words have been on my mind daily for over a week. Does that ever happen to you? You get something stuck in your head and you don’t know why. I’m not talking about songs you hear like the Diamonds by Rihanna that my dear friend Fraulein Von Prude and I would torture each other with. I am talking about a word or phrase that drops in your mind for no good reason or so it seems.
I remember watching the original Karate Kid and I watched the newest version with the Fantastic4 last year. I can’t say that I remember a whole lot of detail about either movie but this quote keeps popping up in my mind. I did what I do when this happens to me, I contemplated what it means to me and mine. Then, I top that with some research to determine the true or implied meaning.
See the video here.
I could go into a long monologue about doing the small things consistently and diligently will lead to a greater reward. I could talk about the importance of following directions. I could tie this into being a good mentor or teacher. I could even reference my own life as both the teacher and the student. But I won’t. Instead I will talk more about listening to your inner voice. It’s the one that gives you ideas or inspiration. For me it also provides direction, poetry and blog ideas.
When these words pop into my head and won’t leave, I know I need to stop and take a look at my life. I see this as an opportunity to grow and develop personally. Wax on… wax off, I can’t say that I have a full understanding of how this applies to me right now but I do know I will keep contemplating until I understand how it applies to my life today or in the near future.

A Box of Chocolates

My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump
I can remember every year around Christmas time my mom would have a box of Sees chocolates sitting around. Back then, they didn’t provide you with an easy to follow illustration that helped you determine the type of filling. I did what some of you did, I bit a tiny piece off of bottom of the candy until I found one I liked. You know the routine, you bite one and if it’s not what you were looking for then you put it back.
Although the original intent of this post was to bring back a fond memory, I feel compelled to ask, is this how we treat relationships today? Take a sample, then put it back when we realize it wasn’t what we wanted. The chocolate that is left in the box is now incomplete and not as desirable to the next person. If you were the next person, how did you get past the incompleteness of the chocolate? Maybe it’s not that big of a deal. Maybe…