Why God Hates Divorce

I’ve been divorced for almost four years. This week, I finally understood some reasons why God hates divorce.

It’s the cries of the children that break his heart
It’s the responsibility they feel for the breakup
It’s the blame
It’s the shame
It’s why my family
It’s brokenness
Bitterness
It’s acting as a peacekeeper
Responsibility, more than they can bear
Allegiance
Alliance
Stuck in the middle
I miss my mom
I miss my dad
I want them back together
Holidays apart
A new family
A new start
It’s the sorrow of the children that hurt his heart
A life they didn’t plan
A step-mother or father
A step- brother or sister
New rules
New traditions
I miss my old life
Resentment
Disrespect
Which parent to protect?
Love is scary
Trust is gone
Relationships don’t work
Fear takes on a life of it’s own
Forgotten
Pushed aside
A brand new life
A new bed
A different room
Brand new house
A new school
No old friends
The Church is new too?
Nothing is familiar
Why just tell me why?
It’s the disappointment of the children that brings sadness to God
God hates divorce and I now understand why

Taking My Thoughts Captive

2 Corinthians 10:5 “…and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”

I was thinking about his scripture a couple of weeks ago. I actually think about it often. Like my subtitle says, I am a thinker. Sometimes my thoughts become my reality or I project my thoughts on to others. If I think it, it must be true, right? Not so much. Then I ask myself, how do I take my thoughts captive? My thoughts are like leaves blowing in the wind. Can you visualize a beautiful fall day with huge trees lining a street? The orange, yellow, burgundy and brown leaves create a carpet of colorful patterns on the ground. As you walk through those leaves, a gust of wind blows through and the leaves do a dance in the air. They twirl around and around enjoying the opportunity to show off their dance moves. Now imaging trying to catch those leaves in the midst of the dance. It seems impossible to me. How to you capture every leaf?

I contemplated this on my drive to work. When I arrived to work, I stopped to talk to some coworkers and told them what I had been thinking that morning, taking thoughts captive. We looked outside of the window at the leaves covering the ground. Then it came to me. You capture the leaves and the thoughts one at a time.

The power of 1

All it took was 1 deity to speak and light was
All it took was 1 act and paradise was lost
All it took was 1 look and a pillar of salt was made
All it took was 1 promise and a nation was birthed
All it took was 1 burning bush and a nation was saved
All it took was 1 rock and a giant fell
All it took was 1 virgin and a savior was birthed
All it took was 1 cross and we can be saved
All it takes is 1 person to pass the good news
All it takes is 1 person to hear
All it takes is 1 person to believe
All it takes is 1

What is your value?

Tree in a DC park

I’m sure you have heard the quote, “if a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Wikipedia has lots of information about the saying if you are interested in the original intent but for the rest of you, keep reading.

As I think about this quote, I can’t help but to wonder, if you are skilled, talented, loving, smart, strong, respectable, artistic, etc. and nobody recognizes them, do those qualities still exist in you? Do our gifts and talents require acknowledgement before they are considered authentic?

We all know the tree does make a sound. But if there isn’t somebody there to hear the tree and verify it made a sound then I guess you could argue there isn’t any proof there was a sound.

Along those same lines, it seems we were created with a need to have affirmations and confirmations. It’s all together possible that we could have been created self-reliant. Sometimes we try to pretend we don’t need a touch or kind word but we do need those words and those actions. Some training classes I have attended in the past had the students write down words of affirmation. The instructor would encourage us to write the words on a note card and tape them to our mirror. Saying those phrases out loud each morning was deemed the next step towards success in the workplace or personally.

In the movie The Help, I am touched every time the maid says to the daughter of her employer, “you is kind, you is smart, you is important.” The maid was trying to counteract the actions or rather inactions of the child’s mother. She understood human value and the potential impact on the child if she didn’t tell her those words.

If you haven’t heard it lately, I am declaring with all honesty and sincerity, you are smarter that you give yourself credit. You are creative. You have everything inside of you today to become the person you want to become tomorrow. You are worthy of love, honor and respect.

As my honeygirl contemplates divorce

One day, not too long ago, my honeygirl asked a question. She asked, “if God knows everything then why did he allow you to get married knowing you would get a divorce?”
What would you say to that? How would you answer that question for a ten year old?
I answered her but I wonder what you would say.

Mary did you know?

One of my favorite songs of the season is Mary did you know. I wonder what were some of the things Mary thought when Jesus was suckling and looking at her with a sweet smile.
Not every mother knows she will carry a baby that will change the world as an adult. Klara Hitler didn’t know. I’m sure she never dreamed of the tragedies that would occur at the hands of her baby boy. When she first felt him move and when she prayed he would not die in childhood as some of his siblings did, I’m sure she didn’t know.
When we as parents hold our breaths and wait for the first cry. When we smile broadly at the first steps. When we celebrate the milestones of childhood. When we shower our offspring with words of encouragement and rebuke, kisses and hugs, I’m sure we don’t know. We hope they will become productive citizens of society. We pray they will live a life that is reflective of our love. But, we don’t know.
My heart is heavy for the mother’s and father’s whose children don’t live a life that reflects the love they were given. I’m sure they didn’t know their children would grow up to kill a room full of children or a theater full of people or an airplane full of passengers. I’m sure they didn’t know.
At the same time that I grieve, I rejoice. I rejoice that Ruth Patton encouraged her son and that Barbara Bush supported her children and that Alberta King put a dream in her son’s heart early on. But I’m sure they didn’t know when they carried those babies they would grow into world changers.
Mary may have known some of the story but she didn’t know the entire story. As she watched her son grow into a man, I’m sure she didn’t know how his life would end and that his story and her story would be told and sung throughout the world.
Mary did you know?