Why God Hates Divorce

I’ve been divorced for almost four years. This week, I finally understood some reasons why God hates divorce.

It’s the cries of the children that break his heart
It’s the responsibility they feel for the breakup
It’s the blame
It’s the shame
It’s why my family
It’s brokenness
Bitterness
It’s acting as a peacekeeper
Responsibility, more than they can bear
Allegiance
Alliance
Stuck in the middle
I miss my mom
I miss my dad
I want them back together
Holidays apart
A new family
A new start
It’s the sorrow of the children that hurt his heart
A life they didn’t plan
A step-mother or father
A step- brother or sister
New rules
New traditions
I miss my old life
Resentment
Disrespect
Which parent to protect?
Love is scary
Trust is gone
Relationships don’t work
Fear takes on a life of it’s own
Forgotten
Pushed aside
A brand new life
A new bed
A different room
Brand new house
A new school
No old friends
The Church is new too?
Nothing is familiar
Why just tell me why?
It’s the disappointment of the children that brings sadness to God
God hates divorce and I now understand why

Box

Your box is your safe haven
I don’t care what anybody else says or does
You stay in your box
It surrounds you from the north, south, east and west
You can close it to hide from the dangers of the world
It was given to you to protect you from all the scary things
It’s your box
Embrace it
Take care of it
Most importantly stay in it
Do not use it to stand on to make a point
Any points you have can be made from within the box
Do not stand on it to see above the crowd
There is nothing to see except a sea of other people in their boxes
No, you may not decorate your box
It should look the same as everybody else’s
If yours is different you may stand out from the crowd
Your box is your haven to be used for your safety
I understand it’s hard to go from place to place while in your box
That’s the point, to keep you right where you are
You don’t need to see the world
Your world is your box
Do not add wheels to your box
What’s the point?
A box with wheels is the same as a box without wheels
But instead of remaining in one place you will have the opportunity to go where you won’t go
Knowing you can go but knowing you won’t go will create unnecessary frustration
Just stay in your box in your spot allowing contentment to be your blanket of comfort
Remember, it’s your haven created to keep you safe
Stop thinking outside the box
The person who said there was something wrong with status quo is a rebel
We all know you can’t trust a rebel
Get comfortable and relax
Lay down if you’d like
Watch TV
Play on your phone
Download some more apps
No book are allowed they cause you to think
Thinking about anything other than what’s in your box will create frustration
Frustration leads to action
Action lead to things I refuse to discuss
You were created to be passive
Play your part
Stay in character
Live the life that has been handed to you
Mediocre is not a bad word
Those all have four letters
Safe haven, protection
Stay in your box
Relationships are acceptable
As long as they are in their box
You may combine boxes or move into a bigger box
As you have children and they begin to grow
Teach them about box life
Tell them the benefits of living in a box
You don’t want your children to become rebels
You want them to think like you
Live a life just like yours
A life inside of a box
Created specifically for them
Teach them what your parents taught you
Pass down the tradition, belief and life you love
Don’t discuss anything other than your opinions
Any other opinions might cause them to dream
A dream means death to a box village
It takes a village of box dwellers to keep a child in their box
When you die, you get the ultimate box
You can have any color you want only you won’t be here to pick the color
It’s cushioned and lined with nice fabric
Although you will never feel the fabric
Just remain in this plain box until you get your last box
When people remember you, if they remember you, it will be as the person who followed the rules and remained in their box
Which of course is not a bad thing

The Crutch

Lean on me til you can walk on your own
I am a temporary solution to a broken situation
Depend on me cause I am here
I will hold you up until you can stand by yourself
Let me help you
Cause it’s what I do
I will remind you that you are weak
And without me you may fall
I am your crutch
I am the thing you despise
I am the thing you need
I am a constant reminder that you are imperfect
When you heal let me go
Keep me in a closet
You never know when you will need me again
I am not your walking stick
That’s seems permanent
I am a here for now not the long run
I can never be your friend
You can trust me but my goal is to leave you one day
I am your crutch
I am meant to become a part of your past
Don’t idolize me
Don’t immortalize me
Don’t pretend I am anything more than your crutch
Lean on me
Only because you are not strong
But the thing about being a crutch is that I can’t stand alone
I need you to give me value and worth
Without you or someone like you, I am useless
I am a constant reminder of what was
I am a useless tool when you are healed
I can only hope to find another to need me
I am a crutch

A Country Mile

I would walk a country mile just to see your smiling face
I would walk the dusty road in my Sunday best
I would walk in the early morning and back again at noon
I would walk in the mid afternoon sun
As I walk my thought would be of you
I would walk by moonlight or candle light
I’d walk that lonely mile, I would
I’d risk dirt storms and lonely minutes
A county mile might take a while unlike but you are worth the time
Unlike a city mile, the only sites are dirt and grass a few houses in between
On my journey I would replay the last time I took this stroll
Remembering how you eyes light up and the warm embrace you give
I will walk this country mile until all I have to do is walk in the other room

The Break

Spring break
Summer break
Break your fall
Break a leg
Break dancing on a broken table
You are calling for another break
Break this down for me
I’m not so sure I have a good understanding
What is the meaning of this break?
You had one last week
You had three last month
You had more than 12 last year
Every time we take a break you break a part of us
Now that we are broken there are no words to be spoken
In your silence I will continue to live
Give me a break
Or maybe I should give you a break that lasts until infinity
The break of all breaks
No backsies allowed
Break the cycle
Breaking it down, I’m tired of all the breaks
Since I am a broken creature I will get past this break too
The story of my life is on a broken record that keeps playing the same tune

I wonder if

I wonder if I walk backwards can I rewind to the time and place when the silence was comfortable and not awkward
I wonder if I close my eyes real tight can I see the light that use to burn in your eyes before it dwindled
I wonder if I get the opportunity to hug you again will I be able to take us back to the time and place before you avoided my touch
I wonder if I call you at 2 am like I use to will you answer the phone in anticipation like you did before you started ignoring me
I wonder if I wear those red shoes you loved will you dance with me as if we are the only one in the room like you use to before our dance became extinct
I wonder if we are able to go back to that time and place where the only thing that mattered was you and me
I spend a lot of time wondering if
I also wonder if you wonder

To Too Two

Too often we refuse to say two words
miss you, love you, so sorry, forgive me
Too many times to count
We let the moments go by
two minutes, two hours, two days
and still nothing is said
too you I look to see two caring eyes
they bring me comfort and peace
to hear, to understand, to listen
I am here, just speak
too you I dedicate my poem
to love is an action for which I was born to perform
to deny the truth is too hard on the soul
two days is too long to wait
miss you, love you, so sorry, forgive me