This is Random Chic.
She may not have been born by the river but she’s cried a river of tears.
She didn’t create laughter but she loves it like its her own.
She did not give birth to love but she unconditionally loves the four she gave birth to.
She is who she is today but not who she was yesterday.
(It’s not G like most of my postings. There is one word)
I hope you enjoy.
That’s the number of years it’s been since I first laid eyes on her. My daughter, my honeygirl, my image, my hope realized. I love her with all of me. I love all of my children but my relationship with her is different. She is my only daughter and we “get” each other. We talk with our eyes, slight head movements, half smiles and certain looks. We speak the same none language. We are not best friends. I’m her mom, her guidance, her boundaries, her gauge, her disciplinarian and her sounding board. I’m honored that she wants me in her life. She insists that I become friends with the moms of her friends. I’ve heard her tell friends she has the best or coolest mom ever.
I didn’t have a great relationship with my mom growing up. I would never have referred to her as the best mom ever. I was never sure I could get this mother daughter thing right. Right for me was better than what I grew up with. But I’m getting it right. We are getting it right. I cherish every moment I get to spend being her mom.
Happy Birthday Honeygirl!
“I would like to give her a swanky, surprise party for her birthday. What do you think?”
“I’m not planning on being married to her by then. I’m tired of the disrespect and the constant arguing. I love her but…never mind.”
“She loves you. What if all the arguing is coming from the person inside of her saying, pick me! Maybe she wants to become your top priority. You’ve consistently pushed her aside and put everything and everybody else in front of her. Pick her.”
“I don’t understand. What do mean? I married her and we have built a life together. What else is there?”
“There is so much more. For once think about her first before you make a decision. Take her away on a vacation. She’s exhausted. She wants time alone with you. Have you ever given her your undivided attention outside of the bedroom?”
“What about me? What about my needs?”
“If you consistently meet hers she will begin to meet yours.”
“I don’t know.”
“All I need from you is a date. I’ll do the rest.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Tomorrow she turns 12. It doesn’t seem that long ago that the teenager and I were at reading time when I went into labor. I waited until it was over, got him buckled in the van, gave him some graham crackers and a drink then I called my doctor. Thirteen hours of labor later, she was born. It was around 1am.
I was tired and hungry, how did they expect a pregnant woman to survive so many hours on ice chips? I looked over at her held her for a moment to count all of her fingers and toes (why do we do that?) and give her a quick snuggle then handed her to her dad then asked the nurse to please give me something to eat. It’s the middle of the night in the hospital and the cafeteria was closed so I had to settle for graham crackers, peanut butter and grape juice but I digress.
She had to go to the NICU because she swallowed meconium during her slow trip down the canal. A short time later, I walked down to see her and hold her. I looked in her eyes and realized the five and a half months of being sick, laying on my couch in the dark and not being able to eat anything other than mashed potatoes with gravy and a biscuit were not worth the trauma (just kidding…maybe).
She has grown into a vivacious, quick-witted, artsy, loving, don’t get in my space unless invited, long story telling (detailed oriented?) intelligent, perceptive young lady. I constantly remind her that she is, by far, my favorite daughter. She’s everything I could ask for in a daughter plus a couple of other things that I never would have asked for but apparently need in order to balance our lives. She walks slow, taking in her surroundings, picking up flower and admiring rocks. She has always had a thing for rocks. Her eyes would light up and she would get excited and almost giddy if the rock was shiny. She has an extensive collection of rocks. She will pull one out periodically to admire its shape, color and luster.
When she was a baby, I would sing these words to her, “You are so beautiful to me. You’re everything I hoped for; you’re everything I need. You are so beautiful to (mommy)…” – Ray Charles
I am glad to have been chosen to be her mom.
Happy Birthday to you my dear sweet Honeygirl. I love you!
I have some of the best friends in the world. One of the benefits of having great friends is being able to celebrate with them. My dear friend Yvonne invited me to Louisiana to celebrate her grandmother’s 80th birthday. We had a fun filled weekend from dinner to dancing and everything in between.
How do you want to celebrate your 80th birthday? I wouldn’t mind having a repeat of that weekend. I can’t think of anything better than being surrounded by my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and friends. Four generations of love were represented at the weekend celebration.
Here is a video of her grandmother dancing and some of the party goers.
All That Chatter 