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I was talking to a friend one day…

School zone

We were discussing how school was going for the kids. Her daughter and my daughter are bff’s and have been since kindergarten. Anyway, she was telling me that her two children were walking home from school and she had instructed her daughter to call her as soon as she left the school. The mom said she was worried the first day of school because she didn’t get a call when school let out. Just as she was about to leave work to see what happened, she received a call. Her daughter had made it home safely. However, the instructions were for her to call her as soon as she walked out of the building. The next day, they went over the instructions again. Once again, her daughter called her when she was home. Frustrated, the mom sat her daughter down and went over the instructions again. The next day was the same as the previous two days. Finally, the mom asked her why she wasn’t following the instructions to call as soon as she left the building. The daughter replied, the sign says no cell phones in the school zone.
I laughed out loud the first time I heard this and I still smile when I think about the conversation.
Yes, it is a true story.

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Stuff

I have lots of questions running through my mind. The most pressing question today and yesterday and the day before that is why do we compare our lives to others? I have friends with big houses, small houses, apartments, condos, townhouses, expensive cars, cheap cars, and no cars. I know people who are highly successful (success to me is defined by the person attempting to achieve it not the people looking at the attempts) and others that are making it day-to-day.

Why do we to look at each other’s lives and measure the quality of life on the stuff that has been acquired? Who are we to say you need all the stuff to be happy? I know people with a lot of stuff; some are happy and some are not. I know people without any stuff, some are happy and some are not. Does stuff bring happiness, contentment or satisfaction? Or does the acquisition of stuff come with a drive to acquire more stuff? If another person does not have that same drive or the same need why isn’t that okay?

Now don’t get me wrong, I have stuff and I like stuff. I am one of the few people, who I now of, that is happy with my current stuff. I don’t dream of more for the sake of more. My goal at the end of the day is not more stuff. My goal is contentment in the here and now. My here and my now are different from yours. I will not measure your stuff or lack there of and please don’t measure mine. Me and my stuff are just fine.

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The Truth Is

I have another guest blogger this week. I was told I could share this only if they were allowed to remain anonymous. I thought it was thought provoking. What do you think?
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I will never have all of the answers.
I will never understand how there are millions of galaxies full of other planets and stars with orbits, atmospheres and possibly life.
Or how scientists could filet my body but never pinpoint a physical explanation for my love of slurpees and musicals.
I will never find empirical proof of an afterlife, and whether living up to someone else’s standards of morality punches your ticket to it.
I can never answer without a doubt whether men are inherently good or bad.
I will never reach a singular definition for the meaning of life.

I do know, however, that I am granted one century. One century to exist in my present state, as me, cognizant and appreciative of my presence among the universe.

Is it a waste of time, then, to tear and struggle and suffer in search of these deeper meanings, truths, and answers? If we are all given relatively the same span, is the unexamined life more fulfilling? Or is fulfillment only brought with understanding, enlightenment. Can you only appreciate what you can fully grasp?

Regardless of your stance regarding an afterlife. In Christianity you lose all relational ties in heaven, and you will not be you as you are now. In Hinduism you reincarnate with no memory of your previous life. In Judaism Buddhism and Atheism you just die. That’s it.

What do all of these views have in common? That even if you go on to live past your time on earth, you won’t be yourself and you won’t have relationships. All you have is now. The time we are given. Do I ignore this, or try to keep the depressing thought always in mind? Do I abandon my search for experiences, truth and meaning because it doesn’t matter in the wake of my mortality?
Or does it make my search all the more important.

If our lives are so short why are we here?

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Can You Imagine This?

You are sitting in your living room or laying in your bed watching TV, reading or sleeping and all of a sudden there is pounding on your door. Then members of the military break down your front door, go into your bedrooms and pull your baby boys out of the bed and kill them right there in front of you. You are helpless and can’t do anything to stop them. Why are they doing this? What happened? Why me? You grab your baby into your arms and cry out to God. Why!?!?!?

You look at your husband and he looks at you. He tried to stop them but he was beat up and knocked out. You tried to protect them but you were slapped in the face, kicked and held back. Why!?!?!? If they didn’t come to your house, how many of your neighbors do you hear screaming and crying in the night and throughout the day. What do you do? What can you do?

Matthew 2:16
When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi.

At the time that I originally wrote this, my two youngest would have been two and one. They would have been killed along with all of the other baby boys on that horrendous night. I have so many questions about that night. Did they take them away or did they kill them in front of their parents? Did the parents ever figure out what why it was done? Did they ever forgive… Would I have been able to forgive whoever was responsible for taking my baby boys from my life? Tough questions but questions I ask nonetheless. I would like to think Jesus paid a visit to those families when he was older and comforted them.

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Walking On the Wild Side

We just returned from a fabulous week-long trip to Virginia. If you ever want to walk on the wild side, travel with four children. This was our third trip to Virginia in two years. Within those two years, we spent time in Washington DC, Maryland New York and Pennsylvania. The fantastic4 and their marvelous mom are making our way across the USA.

Head ’em up and move ’em out!

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Towels

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago and she reminded me of a conversation we had a few years ago about folding towels. We were having a GNO (Girls Night Out) and some how we started talking about towels. As I remember, each lady had a specific way to fold towels. Now, if you think about it, you probably do as well. One of the ladies was adamant that her teenage son fold the towels the right way. If he didn’t, she would get upset and frustrated. This frustration would lead her to refolding all the towels and fussing at him. Another friend had a young daughter at the time. We talked about how the mom wanted the towels folded the right way so she did the laundry herself.

Here is my take. I taught my kids to fold clothes, including towels, as soon as they could walk. The towels might end up in a ball but I praised them and thanked them and added it to the stack of other wadded up towels. As they got older and their coordination was better, they folded the towels better. I still offered the same praise. Yes, I put the towels away just as they folded them. The lesson was three-fold for me. I wanted them to learn to do laundry, I wanted them to know that what they did was good enough and most importantly, I wanted to building a relationship with them. As they grew, the expectation grew for them to not ball the towel but try to fold the towel. Was it perfect? Absolutely not! But I wasn’t looking for perfection.

Back to my story. The mom of the younger child got it immediately. She told me a few weeks ago that she still remembers the conversation and it changed how she approaches everyday tasks with her daughter. It’s not about the towel.

What’s the point of this story? Don’t allow the small things in life to stifle your relationships. It’s just a towel and at the end of the day, what difference does it make? Do you want to be known as the person with a linen closet full of perfectly folded towels or the person who had lifelong, life giving, and loving relationships?

As a side note, the fantastic4 were in a Christmas play last year. In one scene, the three youngest were part of a group of people going about every day life. Number 3, little dude from upstairs, was folding some sort of cloth in this scene. I laughed when I saw him folding it with care and like a pro.