Before I head out for some fun with my friend B I thought I would leave you with a poem from one of my friends. It’s a little dark but it sheds light to the inner thoughts and feelings of one person. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you had a minute, hour, day or week like this. Don’t let the funk settle in though. Keep on keeping on.
I’m being coxed to the edge of my sanity
By this deep blue funk of funks
It’s deeper that deep
A blue so dark it looks black
I’m being pushed by reality
Shoved by expectations
Taunted by the voices of doubt
I want to free fall into the deep
Plunging to the depths of despair
Drown in my sorrows
Throw me a life line
Before I sink into the depths of darkness
I guess I am feeling the poetry bug tonight. (snap, snap, snap, and snap)
There is freedom in telling you I love you
I refuse to be a prisoner of fear
Shackled by the chains of insecurity
You can’t protect me
Love will not hurt me
What hurts is regret
And desire unfulfilled
Dreams not lived
Holding back does not bring satisfaction
It comes when you let what’s natural occur
Loving you is as natural to me as walking and breathing
I was created to love you
If only for a short while
Here is an excerpt from a friend’s poem. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did the first time I read these words. Feel free to offer up some snaps. I did. (I edited the poem to make it G)
I need a lawyer
Someone to save my from this prison
Where I sat in solitude and dream u
I know I deserve this prison cause I played with fire
I was afraid of being burned but didn’t realize this doesn’t burn
It just burns inside me
Consuming all the fears and pretention and sensibilities and bs
Til the only thing left is a single pure thought
I want u
I want ur anticipation and ur humor and ur horrible poker face and ur smirking smiles and ur receptiveness and ur hope and ur carefree life and
Ur selflessness and ur loving nurturing and cool attitude
I need a judge to pardon me for finding my muse unintentionally
And I there is no way this punishment fits the crime
I am guilty.
For tempting my mind to believe in soul mates
For igniting the fire that can’t be extinguished with deadlines and vows…
I loved this letter from my friend April to her four daughters. April is celebrating her 14th anniversary to her dear husband John. It is with her permission I am posting part of the blog and the link to the rest of the story.
As pinned by April…
To my sweet girls, today is our 14th wedding anniversary. I love your daddy so dearly and since anniversaries always make me feel introspective, I wanted to take a moment to write to you what is in my heart. I don’t feel qualified to offer marriage advice, especially in light of so many mistakes we’ve made, many of which you know and you’ve seen and if you haven’t yet, you will see them. But I do want to write this letter of encouragement to you first and foremost and also for anyone along the way that could be encouraged by these words.
Read the rest of the story by clicking this link- http://networkedblogs.com/FTfky
I have another guest blogger this week. I was told I could share this only if they were allowed to remain anonymous. I thought it was thought provoking. What do you think?
I will never have all of the answers.
I will never understand how there are millions of galaxies full of other planets and stars with orbits, atmospheres and possibly life.
Or how scientists could filet my body but never pinpoint a physical explanation for my love of slurpees and musicals.
I will never find empirical proof of an afterlife, and whether living up to someone else’s standards of morality punches your ticket to it.
I can never answer without a doubt whether men are inherently good or bad.
I will never reach a singular definition for the meaning of life.
I do know, however, that I am granted one century. One century to exist in my present state, as me, cognizant and appreciative of my presence among the universe.
Is it a waste of time, then, to tear and struggle and suffer in search of these deeper meanings, truths, and answers? If we are all given relatively the same span, is the unexamined life more fulfilling? Or is fulfillment only brought with understanding, enlightenment. Can you only appreciate what you can fully grasp?
Regardless of your stance regarding an afterlife. In Christianity you lose all relational ties in heaven, and you will not be you as you are now. In Hinduism you reincarnate with no memory of your previous life. In Judaism Buddhism and Atheism you just die. That’s it.
What do all of these views have in common? That even if you go on to live past your time on earth, you won’t be yourself and you won’t have relationships. All you have is now. The time we are given. Do I ignore this, or try to keep the depressing thought always in mind? Do I abandon my search for experiences, truth and meaning because it doesn’t matter in the wake of my mortality?
Or does it make my search all the more important.
One of my friends decided to write a response to my post The Misunderstood and Underestimated. I encourage you to respond, discuss or contemplate as well. I will post your responses to my blog or you can be a guest blogger with your own topic as long as you practice responsiblity and respect. This evening, our guest blogger is a new friend but has quickly become a dear friend.
I present to you Ms. Abiquail. (insert canned applause)
Objects are defined by their usefulness. Shovels are used to scoop, ovens to bake and flashlights to illuminate. We structure every item in our lives by what it is used to do. But what happens when an object is warped for a new purpose? The author of this blog recently posed an interesting question about one such repurposed implement, the wire hanger. She sought to understand the “stigma surrounding wire hangers.”
I think the stigma comes from what people use wire hangers to do.
Wire hangers are used to beat, to torture, to steal and to break. They are twisted from their original form and utilized to cause pain. People rarely conjure positive associations with them; after the author revealed the subject matter of her latest blog my first thought was of the hanger scene in Mommie Dearest (1981)! Although fashioned for an innocent purpose, wire hangers are manipulated into something they were never intended to be.
We are also defined by our purpose. Some instruct, some counsel, some create, some conquer and some make others laugh. Each of us has been designed with gifts we are to use to affect those whose lives we touch. But what happens when we allow those gifts to be manipulated by our selfish desires and the desires of others? Much like wire hangers, what we are created to be can turn into an implement for pain and destruction. And if we do not consciously use our talents to improve the lives of others, we will reap a similarly unfavorable stigma. Are you walking in your purpose, or are you allowing your gifts to be warped and used as something for which they were not intended? Are you a wire hanger?
Bravo Abiquail, bravo. Let’s talk later about this scary image you have of wire hangers. Much love and admiration,