I’m sure you are familiar with the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” By a show of hands, how many of us know this is not true? The words do hurt and bruise and scar. The wounds go deep. Unlike a topical bruise, you can’t see the progression of the healing. You can’t bandage it or kiss it to make it better.
Will you accept a challenge from me? I challenge you to give a meaningful compliment or say a kind word to one person a day for the next 7 days. Then do the same for two people for the following 7 days.
Say you are sorry when you hurt someone with your words. Say it with meaning. Then try your very best not to hurt them again.
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My Record
I made those lovely waffles you see above. Due to some technical difficulties with my waffle iron, I burned them. While I plated them, this conversation occurred:
Me- Oh No! I forget the sensor is broken on the waffle iron
Honeygirl (my daughter)- That’s okay, I’ll eat them
Me- Don’t worry about it I have more batter
Honeygirl- I love your waffles, it doesn’t matter if they are burnt or not, you make great waffles
Me- thinking, I’m glad I have a good track record
Question to contemplate for the day, does your track record provide confidence or doubt when you make a mistake?
Your circle of influence
I attended a meeting for an organization I recently joined. The speaker of the evening was providing insight on how to develop your network (networth) The presenter, Debbie, made some very compelling points. One of those was about the people in your network. Those are people you come into contact with that you are able to influence or that are able to influence you. She had the attendees to fill out a list of people in our lives and put them into two categories, brown or green. Brown represents negative, non-life giving, stagnant, Debbie downer type of people. Green represents life giving, positive, hopeful, moving forward type of people. Then she went on to challenge us to have more green people in our lives and to determine whether or not the brown people could become green or if they are forever browns. If there are forever browns they needed to get weeded out of our lives. (I’m summarizing not quoting) I’m glad to say I have more green in my life than brown.
Give it a try. Write down the names of your friends, colleagues and close acquaintances and categorize them as either brown or green. Well, the process should start with you. Are you brown or green? We don’t want to make any assumptions. Then categorize your circle of influence. We all have a bad day and bad things that happen to us. But do you or the people in your life live in the land of sad, angry, pitiful, spiteful, hurting and whoa is me? If you live there, it’s time to move. If you are visiting, you’ve probably worn out your welcome and need to go back to your happy place.
She did not say abandon your brown list. But take some time to determine whether or not you can help them develop some green. From me to you, don’t allow them to pull you into the dark side. If you are not already fully functioning as a green person, avoid the browns until you are in a better place. A pity party is not the social event of the year. It’s more like quicksand. (side note, where does one find quicksand other than movies?)
Time to go forth and cultivate some positive relationships.
To Too Two
Too often we refuse to say two words
miss you, love you, so sorry, forgive me
Too many times to count
We let the moments go by
two minutes, two hours, two days
and still nothing is said
too you I look to see two caring eyes
they bring me comfort and peace
to hear, to understand, to listen
I am here, just speak
too you I dedicate my poem
to love is an action for which I was born to perform
to deny the truth is too hard on the soul
two days is too long to wait
miss you, love you, so sorry, forgive me
How to become a certified slacker
If you follow these steps you will be well on your way to becoming a certified slacker. First let’s define slacker. According to me, a slacker is a person who doesn’t get much done during the day but no one seems to notice.
I am offering steps to get you towards the certification, not the certification itself. As a true slacker you don’t want everybody to know so you would not leave a trail such as a certification to give proof to those that may suspect your status.
1.) Attend as many meetings as you can, take down lots of “notes” and look extremely engaged and interested in the topic
2.) Show up for work on time and stay late sometimes. During actual work hours surf the net, pay your bills online, update your blog and any other internet related activity that requires typing and intensely looking at your screen.
3.) Get a screen protector or arrange your desk in such a way that passerbyers (I know it’s a questionable word) can’t see your screen.
4.) If you are high enough on the flow chart to have an office, close your door and come out every hour looking frustrated and sighing loudly. Of course what you are actually doing is surfing the net, texting and talking on the phone.
5.) Go to work early, schedule a meeting with a friend you are in cahoots with, (go to the movies, grocery shopping, take a nap or just hang with that friend) then come back to work and stay late.
6.) Always be available for questions. This passes the time and you appear helpful as well as engaged.
7.) Walk around your office talking to people. Don’t spend too much time with one person or else people will complain that you are keeping others from being productive.
8.) Don’t volunteer for any projects unless you are the coordinator then delegate, delegate, delegate.
9.) Don’t take the credit for other people’s ideas. This makes people angry. The goal here is to be stay on everybody’s good side. You want to have lots of allies not enemies.
10.) Always look busy!
The cowardly lion
I am not sure who to give credit to for the picture. From the Wizard of Oz.
I hope at some point in time you have seen the Wizard of Oz. If not, please add it to your list of movies to see. My focus is on the cowardly lion. We know is nature, the lion represents the king of beasts. He is supposed to be the big man on campus. He gets the big piece of chicken. He gets the honor at the head of the table because of his courage and willingness to sacrifice his life for his pride. At any point during the day, he could run into another lion who wants to challenge him and take over his pride. His job is take on the challenge and win. The lion has a sense of duty, honor and country (pride) that seems to be missing today in some.
I have a friend who graduated from West Point many moons ago. I had the privilege of attending the ceremony. I remember seeing the words Duty, Honor, Country and they were forever engrained in my memory. At West Point they are holding to a tradition that used to be common in our households.
Photo credit: Andrew Milligan/PA Wire
Duty- expected by moral or legal obligation, action or task required by a person’s position, an act or expression of respect
Honor- honesty, fairness or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions
Country (pride or family)- state, nation, land of one’s birth (taking creative liberty- the people you have promised to love, honor and respect or who you should feel an obligation towards due to their status in your life)
Back to the Wizard of Oz, the cowardly lion was going to see the wizard because he lacked courage. He doesn’t stand up when he’s afraid, he cowers and hides. We all have time in our lives when we want to run and hide. But, I am saying to you don’t give in to the fear, especially when it comes to your country (pride or family and your really good friends). Face the situation head on, dig deep within you and give out the biggest roar you can muster. If that doesn’t work, let the battle ensue. But, it’s better to stand for and represent duty, honor and country than to cower and run. The battle doesn’t have to be a physical battle. It may be a mental, verbal or prayerful battle. The battle is not always against someONE it could be someTHING.
(Spoiler alert!)As they discovered at the end of the journey to Oz, it was always there. He always had courage, he just didn’t recognize it in himself. Recognize the courage in yourself. Be ready to take a stand when it’s required. Other wise, enjoy the big piece of chicken you earned because you are proven and willing.
The sun will come out tomorrow…
I couldn’t leave you on a sad note so here is Annie singing, Tomorrow.
All That Chatter 