Do you remember the song that was playing during your first slow dance? This is not mine but I like this song. I will just listen to this as I try to think back to the seventh grade dance. I wore a pink dress with a white lace collar. I went alone because I was too young to date although I did like somebody. I can’t say we really slow danced as much as stood close to each other and moved in sync to the music. Yes I know this song is more appropriate for a wedding but I’m not reflecting on that memory at this moment.
Take it away Randy!
Tag Archives: dating
Dating Advice
* Make sure his or her dream is bigger than your reality.
* Clingy may be cute early on but not so much years later.
* Love is a four letter word that deserves its own category.
* If you are making excuses for their behavior early on, back away slowly then run.
* Take your time to get to know each other.
* Chemistry is a class you take.
* Believe what they say and do.
* Expectations are not a bad thing.
* Show the day to day you early on.
A Box of Chocolates
My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump
I can remember every year around Christmas time my mom would have a box of Sees chocolates sitting around. Back then, they didn’t provide you with an easy to follow illustration that helped you determine the type of filling. I did what some of you did, I bit a tiny piece off of bottom of the candy until I found one I liked. You know the routine, you bite one and if it’s not what you were looking for then you put it back.
Although the original intent of this post was to bring back a fond memory, I feel compelled to ask, is this how we treat relationships today? Take a sample, then put it back when we realize it wasn’t what we wanted. The chocolate that is left in the box is now incomplete and not as desirable to the next person. If you were the next person, how did you get past the incompleteness of the chocolate? Maybe it’s not that big of a deal. Maybe…
Resilient?
Have you ever looked a picture of yourself and asked something along the line of, “is that what I look like?” Is it true that pictures don’t lie? Then I guess mirrors are deceptive. Or is my mind playing tricks on me? I have this theory that we don’t see ourselves as others see us. My theory goes beyond the physical.
In recent days and months I have been described as a perfectionist (gasp! not me!), quirky (the person who said this is head of the quirky is us club so I don’t give it much credence) and then as recent as yesterday someone said I am resilient. I must say this one has me perplexed even more than the others. Resilient…in my mind, resilient is what you call an object that can withstand being tossed around not lose its shape or form, like a tennis ball.
I believe the dictionary is my friend so I looked up the word resilient. It is defined as springing back, rebounding, returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed or stretched. The word buoyant was also used in the description. The definition of buoyant is cheerful and optimistic. Now that is a word I can identify with.
Back to my theory…
If you made a list of 10 adjectives that describe you and had family, friends and foes do the same, how many common words would you find on the lists? I can tell you perfectionist, quirky and resilient would never had made it on my list.
A few months ago, after being encouraged/harassed by a friend, I joined a popular dating site. I did not walk away with a love connection but I did develop my theory and lots of supportive data. On the site I joined, you develop a self profile. What I was able to determine in a short amount of time is people wrote one thing but their lives didn’t necessarily reflect those words. Now being the buoyant person that I am, I chose to believe they weren’t being deceptive, but they believed what they saw in the mirror and had not taken a recent snapshot of their lives.
As I take a look at me from the perspective of other people, I still am not sure that I am resilient. I just press on in spite of obstacles and choices and circumstances. When I make it through to the other side of stretching situations, I hope the experience does not leave me the same but better. Resilient? Not really. Pliable? Definitely.
When Mr. Wright is actually Mr. Wrong
As I was describing my date to a friend, she said, “excuse me while I remove the mic from my face” and commenced to laugh very loud for an extended period of time.
I’m glad I’m not easily offended.
The first time I saw him, I thought, he’s not bad-looking, he has all of his teeth, he’s clean and is well-groomed. We talked and laughed for hours. Within the first hour he asked me to marry him. I told him I needed to meet his mother first. He called her on his cell phone. She and I chatted about the holidays, what she was cooking and how to download music on an iPod. He and I exchanged numbers before I left.
A couple of days later, he sent me a text message asking me out on a date. (first flag) **Side note, I am trying to become more progressive but I really am old-fashioned when it comes to dating. I like my doors opened, I’m okay with him paying and I would prefer a phone call if you want to ask me out. Honestly, I would not allow honeygirl to go on a date with a guy who would not verbally ask her. The standard remains the same, forget progressive.**
The event itself was fine. He took me to a friend’s sister’s house for an intimate Christmas party. The party consisted of all of her close friends and me. Never one to turn away from a potentially awkward situation, I embraced the moment and turned on my social charm. He introduced me to everyone he knew as his fiancé. (1/2 flag, it was kind of funny) I soon left his side and began to talk with the other guests. All in all, I had a great time, talked with most of the other guests, heard some funny stories and considered it two hours well spent.
Mr. Wright told me on the drive back that I received an endorsement from one of the guests who described me as grounded, nice and a good catch. Special shout out to Mr. Oil and Gas and his lovely wife, Mrs. Oil and Gas.
I called my friend after dropping off Mr. Wright to discuss the date and for her to keep me company as I drove. I proceeded to tell her about the date and said I saw some red flags. I went on to tell her about the return ride conversation. He described the hostess and her friends as young and pretentious. The he said, I knew you would fit in, that’s why I invited you. (flag, did he just call me pretentious?) Let’s see if I can remember his next words. “Who cares about a degree? They aren’t worth the paper they are printed on most of the time!” (flag, I’m pretty sure I told him I was working on a Masters in education)
As we were approaching his final destination, I allowed him to listed to a live recording of my poem, I’m Better Than That. Let it sink in Mr. Wright. Let it sink in.
Another true story
A friend of mine met a guy while she was shopping in a superstuffmart one day. This guys seemed nice enough after a few phone conversations and textations (I know it’s not an official word but the way a word becomes official is when a person starts to use it and it catches on. Who would have thought bootylicious would have made it to the dictionary?) therefore, she agreed to go out with him. He told her to wear a pretty dress on the date. She obliged. She carefully planned her outfit for the date. As they made final arrangements, he told her to meet him at IHOP. She thought, this must be the meeting place and then they are going to the real restaurant that must be hard to find.
Here is an excerpt from one of my newer poems that is based on this true story.
The title of the poem is, I’m Better Than That
When he looks at you and says you are beautiful
When he says I get lost in your eyes
Or your smile brightens up a room
Then says let me take you to dinner meet me at IHOP
Say I’m better than that
My friend doesn’t have a problem with going to IHOP but not on a first date after being asked to wear a pretty dress.
All That Chatter 